Searches

Recently I feel that I do not find a place for myself. I'm looking for something all the time, and I do not know exactly what. And I also lose all sorts of things and then I look for them, but I can not find them.

When I search for all sorts of things openly, people immediately ask me why I'm not looking for Google. Recently more and more people are telling me to search on Google. You can find everything there, it's like sophisticated intelligence that throws you ends of the thread to start them and continue from there down until you achieve your goal. "That's where everything begins," a friend told me. "First of all, I roll, and only afterward do I ask if I have anything left to ask," a friend told me at work. "If I could take only one site to a desert island, I would take Google," someone told me, whose name I would rather not name.

Following these tips, I decided that at work breaks, instead of being updated on Ynet, I would go to www.google.com, which is already redirecting me to www.google.com, because here it is not America. I discovered that even without checking what was new on Ynet, I lacked information that I did not need before. The problem was that I sat with my eyes in front of this minimalist portal, which more than he had to offer. He just waited for a signal from me to fill the text box in the middle of the screen with hints so he knew where to take me from here.

I felt really stuck. I do not really know what I'm looking for, I thought. Then I remembered that there were some specific things I was looking for, and that maybe I should start from them. As in the test you should always start with the easy questions instead of getting stuck on the difficult questions and finally losing points because there was not enough time to answer the questions that did not require time at all.

Then I remembered that for quite some time I had been looking for part of my vacuum cleaner, the telescopic part that lengthens the rod, without which you really have to bend when you draw the carpet. The part disappeared two months ago and since then I've barely been able to vacuum. I searched all over the house and I did not understand how a metal rod could disappear as if it had been swallowed by earth. It would be nice to find him now, but I did not know what words to put in. "Telescopic vacuum rod" - a good bet, but I did not want to buy a new vacuum cleaner with a telescopic rod, I just wanted to find mine. It turns out that Google is not suitable for such searches.

So ... I moved on to the next assignment. What did I look for? I do not really know. If you do not know, Google can not help. You have to work harder. I'm looking for myself, which is very general, but you have to start from something. What to look for? "Self", "I", "What"? This search did not lead to any results. Again I found myself facing a minimalist page, a text box in the center of the screen and a jittery marker waiting for me indifferently, like a Freudian psychiatrist who did not really initiate any idea because he believed everything should come from the subconscious without any artificial intervention.

I went back to Ynet, not without frustration, and tried to understand what went wrong, and was it always like this, and how do you really look for things in the world and where is the world in general, that is, where is the search space? Is it still there, or maybe we abandoned it? And all the words we seek, whether from where they have always been, or perhaps from the world-by-itself of words and searches, that has lost some touch with the world that had been there before. And is it still possible to lose real things in the world of exploration, and to search for things in the world beyond?

I think I'll keep looking.