Transgender 101: Episode 2; The Big Three...

In my last instalment of Transgender 101 we covered the very first step to understanding the basics about Transgender people by exploring the definition of Transgender. In this article we are going to look at the big three as I call them, the three things I run into everyday that people assume about transgender people because of cultural stigma, not reality.

The first is Pathologizing.

You would be amazed by, and might even be among the multitudes of people who believe and treat Transgender people as though we where mentally unstable. At first in my transition I thought I was acting different or encouraging this treatment in some way it was so pronounced. I am very sure that this cultural stigma is a hold over from way back but it was having a heyday in the nineties where every killer had to cross dress and every comedy show had a man in a dress gag. Regardless its very startling to suddenly be treated as though you are inept by people who months before had treated you perfectly normally.

There is no need to Pathologize Trans people. As with all humans we each have individual problems. There are people in the transgender community with severe mental health issues, and those with none, most populate the space between extremes, just like everyone, every group, all over the planet. The transgender community is no different. We do have a slightly higher risk for some of the mental issues associated with minorities that are treated poorly like the trans community is but in total the numbers bear out exactly as they should given our population and economic status. These numbers improve dramatically in post transition patients, so much so that in post op trans people the mental health polling done shows that they are exactly the same in likelihood to develop mental health issues as a Cis person of the same gender, so effectively the only problems are lack of acceptance by the community and ostracism.

Getting rid of bigotry would effectively eradicate the worst issues trans people are having with mental illness currently...that and access to doctors for transition. I always giggle when people argue that trans people are simply imbalanced, the lack of understanding in that statement means inherently i'm about to win an argument. Due to the extraordinary amount of gatekeeping that is being done currently to prevent trans people from accessing the healthcare they need we know emphatically that trans people are not mentally disabled, we could not make it through the system even to get hormones if we where severely imbalanced, I need a note from three different physicians two of which need be mental health experts in order to get my bottom surgery, trans people in the middle of transition have been thoroughly analysed, we know much more about this condition that effects us every second of our life than you would think, its ok to just treat us like people going through something rough but helpful in the long run. It's just a myth that Transgender people are mentally ill, we are simply dealing with gender issues.

The next is Infantilization of Transgender people.

We are not children, well some of us are but there are adults there with them so i'm certainly talking more the 21 and up range of folks. These decisions, this path. Its not something a person would choose. There is soul searching, running, disbelieving, internalization of hate and so so so very much more all being weighed at any given moment. Some of us, like me wait and suppress clear past our 20's and deep into our thirties and later. This state of being, its not accepted inside of oneself without enormous sacrifice and searching. After all of that struggle and strife its not like it then gets easy, it gets personally easier for sure, but generally upon coming out Trans people lose family and friends, take a bump down the social ladder a bit and have the road of transition fully before them still.

Not to mention doctors and psychologist along with law makers and overfunded church groups creating gate after gate to get proper treatment and adding toll after toll to getting things done. Even to the point of legislating away our ability to access healthcare in the traditional ways. We are fighting back to be sure but understand that we are all adults fighting through a world of shit right now, so when you say shit like "well, are you sure your not a boy" or "well maybe you should see one more psychiatrist" you are trivializing our vast experiance and infantalizing us, its not ok and its completely uncalled for. Not because of PC bullshit, because we are humans going through something, we don't even need your support really, just get out of the way and treat us like the very well versed adults we already are, just that simple act would eradicate 99% of the problem.

Last but not least is Misgendering.

I will never understand peoples need to do this. When we say that we just want basic levels of respect this is the kind of thing we are talking about. If you have ever for real misgendered a transgender person at work or likely out in the world the response you get is not video worthy, a slight frown and turn or a whispered correction, we are all very aware of the murder rate. We correct people very carefully because we are well aware of how the cards are stacked, but we also would like to be correctly gendered. I have actually been asked why this matters to me. I will answer that, put yourself in a place where everyone misgenders you all day, are you really going to tell me that you would not get impacted by that over time?

Not just once, nobody is getting upset over once or twice, it happens all. friggin. day. Are you telling me that after a month you would just be happy go lucky about that? No, you wouldn't. It would stress you out, add background pressure to every social interaction. Add stress to every stressful situation, prove daily how little your voice means. I watch people correct others about there dogs gender everyday, nobody bitches they just use the right pronouns, its extremely simple and it matters immensely, if you are not sure just ask someone there pronouns or once corrected switch to the correct ones without making it a big deal. It is the very basic level of respect one human gives to another and we are all human, just trying to live together on this big water laden spaceship.

Thank you for reading I will continue with more basic transgender knowledge next Sat. Have a wonderful week!