The Bittersweet Trip back to NYC

in #travel5 years ago

After 5.5 months in Östersund I found myself having to fly back to NYC ASAP. My husband Bo had to continue to work, so it was just Nazmieh and I. This trip was bitter sweet. One of my family members was dying.
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My uncle, who has been like a father to me from day 1 nearly 35 years ago, had kidney failure. His kidneys had been failing for nearly 2 years, and he refused dialysis. The past few months, weeks especially, he seemed to be declining fast, so I went to see him. I got to see him for maybe 10 minutes, 10 minutes I’m very grateful for. The next day we planned to spend time together, but he had passed. Death of a loved one is never easy to deal with obviously. Even when you think you’re prepared because they’ve been sick for a long time, you aren’t. I wasn’t. He was in a lot pain, so I’m glad he isn’t anymore, but I selfishly wanted more time. I want more time, time for another laugh, another hug, to hold his hand and tell him he was a great man to my sister and I growing up.

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This is the first time in my life death has been this close, parent-like close. While I see that life goes on, especially if you have a little one depending on you, I find it hard to believe my uncle is physically gone from this earth. I saw him no longer alive, I know he’s passed, but it’s still hard to wrap my head around. Every single day I feel that disbelief. Sometimes I want to space out and do nothing, and other times I’m laughing or smiling about a memory of him. It’s all so strange yet I’m relieved for him and sad for myself. My daughter is the best medicine right now, such sunshine every day in general , but now more so. I go in and out of the grief.

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My sister and I have to clean out his apartment. That’s when it’s really real. It’s overwhelming, hard and sad, and we conveniently haven’t gotten to the bulk of it. When in his apartment I expect him to walk in the door. He was a private man. It feels wrong to be going through his things. Many emotions. I’m letting myself feel everything and taking it a day at a time.
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I am so unbelievably sorry for your loss 😞 I hope that one day in the future, the loving memories of your uncle will replace your sadness.

I found your post because @ajorundon featured you in a Pay it Forward Curation contest entry.

Thank you @lynncoyle1. My uncle will be with me wherever I go, and I will make sure to tell my daughter about what a great man he was.

... keeping the memory alive! He'd love that I'm sure.

Sorry for the loss, it's just irreplaceable to say the least. :(

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No matter what we must have lost, we should know that life goes on and we should never take life for granted. More so, we should be there for those that are depending on us.
It's surely a bittersweet experience. Thanks for sharing @caswinn ,Accept my condolence dear.

In addition, this post has been featured by me in the payitforward curation contest by @pifc

https://steemit.com/@ajorundon/my-entry-for-the-payitforward-curation-contest-week-48-jt46jfqk

I am so sorry for your loss.
Your uncle lives on through you and your memories

I came to your post because it was featured in an entry to @pifc's Curation Contest:Week 48
Posts that have been selected by the entrant will be visited by other members of the PIFC Community and given support.
You are welcome to submit other author’s post in future contests. The PIFC community has a support Discord Channel that you are invited to join. For more information about the PIFC family along with a great way to meet new people. We are a group of like minded people that focuses on assisting one another.

So difficult to lose someone that close to you. I'm very sorry. But I'm glad you got those 10 minutes - I'm sure it made a world of difference to him as well.

I came here because @ajorundon featured you in the Pay it Forward Curation Contest. Keep up the great work!

Thank you so much. And wow I am very honored to be featured. I am beyond happy for those 10 min. He will always be with me.

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