Rant of the week: Crazy behavior on airplanes

I don't mean proper lunatics that warrant an air marshall's intervention. I'm referring to otherwise normal, sane people who just seem to lose all sensibility in an airport. Their behavior does not benefit anyone and it doesn't even benefit them. It also just happens to seriously irritate me.

gotta get there first!!!!

I get it; no one likes waiting. No one likes an airport environment and it is usually a huge relief to be done with it. I understand this. However, i don't know what happens to people as soon as they have a boarding pass that just makes them throw their brain out for the next few hours.

It starts before we are even on the plane. The airline staff announces that they need such and such rows to board first and unless there is a first / business class, this will almost always incorporate loading the people with seats at the back of the plane first...... because by using this method we are able to fill the middle and then the front faster because no one is in the way.

However, it doesn't seem to matter what country I am in, that woman doesn't even get finished saying "ladies and gentlemen" before 50% of the crowd frantically scrambles to the gate entrance as if they were starving and free donuts were at stake. Here are a few questions I want to ask these people:

You do realize the seats on a plane are uncomfortable and small right?

You know we aren't leaving until everyone is on the plane right?

Do you think you get to choose a better seat if you get there first?

Did you know that you are likely only going to stand in line at the ticket counter, perhaps get turned back and reprimanded like a child, and even if they do let you go you are going to be waiting again on the jetway?

this is so much better than the chair i was just sitting in

Then the frantic search for overhead compartment space occurs. I'm not saying that there has never been an instance where someone has been unable to find anywhere to put their bag but I have never been in a situation where someone was forced to leave the plane because there was no more storage space - and I fly a lot. Today, the flight attendants were very helpful in finding (guess what?) space for every single passenger's bag. On another note - people are getting a bit ridiculous with their carry on's.

sir, we may need you to check this

To the people who immediately recline before we even start moving: Unless this is your first time on a plane you know by now that this is not allowed - even though it is a dumb rule that I can't imagine affecting safety in any way... yet the flight attendants will have to remind dozens of passengers of this extremely well known rule every single time.

Things generally go ok for the rest of the flight until the unloading process gets near. You can see it in their eyes.... look around you... they are planning for maximum panic and idiotic pointless behavior.

As soon as the plane slows to below 100 miles an hour, some jackass is standing up trying to retrieve his bag from the overhead compartment. Again, if this is not your first time on a plane - you know you are not supposed to do it.

However, these people are rare. But as soon as that "ding" sound happens indicating that it is ok to stand up it's like a battle royale in there.

go go go go go!!!

The plane door isn't open, the jet-way is not in place, yet everyone needs to get their bag immediately and wait somewhere less comfortable than their chair. I just can't justify it, some people seem to prefer to stand haunched over rather than just remain in their f%*king seat for another 2 minutes.

You see, I'm the type of guy where I just let them do it... I remain calm because I realize this is a single-file type situation and unless you are a complete jerk-face, you aint leaving before the people in the rows in front of you anyway. However, I tend to book an aisle seat and if the people on the inside of me are one of the people who feel the frenzy to move as soon as they are allowed they lose their minds because I wont stand up (the lady crawled over me today.)

This "race to the gate" is even more futile for people that checked bags. There is almost no chance your bags are going to beat you to the carousel and then you just have to wait again at another less comfortable and crowded place. Then of course everyone gathers in a panic at baggage claim too because obviously someone is going to steal their bag if they don't spot it immediately.... right?

I have taken hundreds of flights in my lifetime. Every time i take another one (did 2 today) I end up at exactly the same place as the people that are apparently in a race I am unaware of just a few seconds after these folks.

I understand there is a time and place where being frantic is important - such as if you are competing in the hundred meters. However, I just fail to understand why anyone thinks that any of what I mentioned above could possibly benefit them.

As always I welcome your responses.