Hey! Parker, Leave Those Bikes Alone.

I thought I’d take a light-hearted look at some of the few customs and habits out here in Southeast Asia, that leave me completely baffled. A couple of these concern motorbike parking. I recently flew to Nha Trang for a few days and rode my motorbike to the airport, parking it in the new car park there. There were thousands of bikes so I took the precaution of photographing the bike and the numbered pillar next to it. When I returned three days later I couldn’t find it. It took me almost an hour and when I eventually found it, it was almost 100 yards away. On what planet is this, a sensible thing to do and is it a game that’s played merely for foreigners? The bike guy at the pub where I drink moves bikes all night long. I have had to ask him firmly not to touch mine. I arrived early and parked it close to the door within sight, turned my back for 5 minutes and it was a dozen yards down the street.

Imagine when this lot parks up and the attendents start playing the Saigon Shuffle
Another one concerns headlights. I ride with my lights permanently on; it is safer. Despite being told by many that it is illegal, I have never seen anything other than anecdotal evidence for this. However, park your bike 10 minutes before it gets dark and there’s a good chance you’ll be setting off in the dark with no lights on, because the car park attendant has turned them off. By the way, riding on the wrong side of the road, with four on a bike, using your cellphone, having no lights at night and many other things are definitely illegal. Do the parking guys obey all those laws? I believe day running lights are illegal in Cambodia, but even when the police here have stopped me, they have never told me to turn them off. Do the car park attendants think you are losing battery power when your bike is switched off? It is especially infuriating when you look at the number of people riding at night with no lights on. I took a head count recently and it was about 10% of all bikes.

Most global studies on daylight running lights report a reduced accident rate of between 5 and 10 percent. In many countries this has convinced governments to make it law that they should be ON. Canada, Norway, and Sweden for example all require your lights to be on at all times.

Another weird one is when you are filling up at the petrol station. Front wheel jammed against the pump and a bike on either side it is completely normal for the next customer to simply drive right up behind and block you in. Even when you ask them politely to move they are reluctant in case they somehow lose their place. It’s very odd.

Then of course there’s the walking into a lift before anyone is allowed to walk out. I have seen this end in arguments more times than I care to remember. It seems ridiculous to most Westerners but is entirely normal to many here. God help us if and when the Saigon Metro finally gets running, I can imagine that in the rush hour.

First World problems, eh?