Ulog#6: A Day with Win-win
Each day I see my nephew, there is just a prick in my heart. He is Rich Godwin. We call him Win-win. His father didn't recognize him as his son. By the time my sister got pregnant with this child his boyfriend suddenly disappeared. Yes, he was abandoned. We didn't get any support from his father. I pity my younger sister because she has to face being a parent alone. Of course, we, her siblings are just here to back her up but how we wish that she is having a normal family life of her own together with her child. However, there is no use of crying over a glass of spilled milk. We just accepted the situation and started learning from there. So altogether we raise this child even though all my other sibling has their own family to attend and support to.
When my sister is at work, Win-win is left to a nanny. There is nothing we can say about his nanny because she is very much caring of Win-win. But still, I notice that my nephew longs for a father's affection. I can see him jealous of his cousins whenever they play with their father. I can see him competing for attention. Sometimes it ends up in a quarrel between the children.
There are also moments Win-win asks where is his own father. We just say the truth yet his young mind still doesn't understand things. As a consolation, we just tell him always that we, his uncles can be his father. There are times that I just really get mad with the biological father of Win-win. He just simply forget his own child. What kind of a person will not recognize and disown his firstborn? That man didn't even bother to explain or visit the child even once.
Yesterday, Winwin's nanny had a family emergency. My sister in law is in the hospital because one of my nieces has U.T.I. So, I was the only one to care for this child. Win-win is so hyperactive. As in he never gets tired. He moves quickly and suddenly disappears. The next thing you know he is on the edge of the stairs and ready to jump. Luckily my friend was able to stop him or else it will be a major accident. Because of that I hit him so hard as in really hard and bring him to the corner where he cried and cried. I was preaching him when he looked at me with a face seemingly asking, "What have I done for you to hurt me".
I was startled. Win-win at 3 yrs old is still a child. He still doesn't know what he is doing. Maybe he was surprised by the sudden hit that landed his butt. I can't remember how many it was but it is numerous. I took a very deep breath carried the child and hugged him. I can't also remember how many times I said sorry. I just hugged him and now we are both crying in the house.
I talked to him heart to heart and one on one explaining what had happened. Then, he just doesn't want to go down from my lap.
"Tito it hurts here", he said. The only thing I can do his hug him and let him feel my love. I am still single. I am still not a father but this experience is so genuine that I felt I am a father at the moment.
A child is a child. After a while, he forgets the pain I inflicted on him and started playing again. This time more cautious. He is applying the lesson I taught him. I hope he really forgets that I hurt him but not the lesson I gave him. I am also guilty of myself. I hope that will never be able to hurt him again.
So as a payment for my sin, later that afternoon, I brought to the place he was longing to go. I brought him to Cloud9, a tourist spot here in Antipolo.
We brave the hanging bridge. He is just so brave of heights. It was effortless for him to cross it. While at the top of the tower, he is the same hyperactive Win-win. I was just watching him and wondering what will be God's plan for this child. I hope he will grow up as God-fearing, intelligent, healthy and sociable man. Whatever life will be bringing on us... his father may have abandoned him... one thing I know, I will be watching this child and guiding him to the best I can
