Dear Diary: My Father Is "High Blood" Today

It is just depressing when your family member is sick as it is more painful for me to see them suffering than I see myself in my situation no matter how end-stage its nature is. So my father was not feeling well from yesterday until now and he was not telling and it was good that my sister was here, she has a blood pressure monitor and upon testing my father's BP they saw that he has a very high blood pressure.

My mother only noticed that my father was not feeling well when she saw my father wobbling. So it prompted her to investigate and it lead her to discover that my father wasn't really feeling well with his blood pressure.

It also has an effect on my thoughts because I am dependent on my father for the reason that he was the one driving me to and from the dialysis center. So if there will something to happen to my father I am in trouble. So I am really in a precarious situation that scares me a lot.

Now my mother just bought some pineapple juice for my father to drink, maybe it will help lower his blood pressure. My father is hard-headed when it comes to his diet, no food would come near his mouth without dipping into a fish sauce first and if you talk to him about that issue like what my mother did one time he would get angry.

I just pray that my father would get well today, it is my dialysis tomorrow and I needed my father's support. Sometimes I think to just die now and not worry about these things, it is not good to live like this, full of pain, hardships, worries, fear, sadness, grief, tears, and all that.