Ulog #3 - My most unusual talent - and why phrasing matters

I wrote a version of this post that was so poorly worded that I deleted it out of fear that I might get looked into by some government agency. After reading it a second time I was aghast at implications that I had never considered. Could your unusual talent get misinterpreted as possibly one of the most heinous crimes known to human kind?

Maybe this post will spark some interesting discussion. Or get me arrested.

_{@phoenixwren's great contests have been getting hit pretty hard by low participation}

When I saw this contest, I thought (what most people aparently think), 'I have talents but none of them are unusual'. But then life happened, and something that seems really normal to me became the subject of conversation among similar-aged adults. 'Oh my goodness', people said to each other, 'look at what that guy is doing!'

People were so amazed that they later commented me that I had 'an incredible vibe'. They joked that they could 'use one of me in their daily lives'. And I realized that I had found my unusual talent.

Are you ready to know what it is?

_{I have the ability to talk to children}

Perhaps you do not consider this a talent, but then you have not seen me do it. I also did not consider that speaking to children was a talent, or all that unusual, but it appears to be something that not everyone knows how to do. There are three basic steps to performing this talent at an intermediate level. I may touch on other advanced techniques in future posts.

1. Take it serious
2. Be honest
3. Listen

These seem pretty straight forward, but let's dive a little deeper into each one.

_{Counting by 7's is as serious as anything you do all day}

Perhaps counter-intuitively, being a child is very serious. Every single experience, conversation and lesson will be foundational to their human experience in a way that an afternoon in your 30's can never be. To a child, whether they get this one silly question answered is actually life changing.

Too often adults take their generally meaningless 'work' much more seriously than the important considerations of a child. This strategy may come with its own benefits and drawbacks, but it is not the way to develop the ability to talk to children.

_{Uncle Beard tells it like it is.}

When my niece was a baby, before she started talking, I would carry her around her apartment and describe everything I saw and what it was for. She listened intently as I described in incredible detail the inner workings of stoves and refrigerators to the best of my knowledge. I described ingredients and recipes, hobbies and activities, windows and beyond. I talked to her, honestly, for hours at a time.

I want to be clear here - there was no baby talk. Baby talk leads to brain damage, and I am not being ironic. Their little baby brains are soaking up everything while they frantically try to figure out this world around them, and each made up word or poor pronunciation is a red herring that can seriously stunt their development.

As they get older, avoid like the plague any and all lies, even the ones that are implicit in our culture. Santa was a 4th century Greek who liked to give out gifts, and we honor that each year at Christmas. You don't have to be dramatic about it, just don't lie.

_{Seriously funny times}

The last step is to be sure to listen. Too often we talk on and on about whatever is on our minds without considering well who we are talking to or what they want or need to hear. With other adults we usually adjust to compensate for each other, but with children, we risk teaching them that we are not worth listening to if we don't listen to them.

In the earlier version of this article I played on the title of a TV show and called myself a 'child-whisperer'. There is no whispering involved, and there is nothing creepy to see here. But for little people to become big people, they need adults to show them how, by taking them seriously, listening and being honest with them.

Love and Light to All!