DEAR ULOG, WHY DOES LOVE HURT SO ?

Basically, we want real stuff. The real deal. "YOU"!!!.

We want real!

Dear #ulog,

This is not the usual piece of poetry that I am known by, neither is it in the familiar banter-like tone I use on most of my blogs. But this is the ardent outpouring of my hurting heart, the endless flowing stream of my aching tears. It is penned in agony and in writhing pain.This is life, my life. Please take time to read and save my soul.

This night weighs heavily inside me and I seek to let it all out, perhaps find a sort of soothing, an emollient, or outright healing .

And what better outlet for me to explode, if not #ulog?

When will the hot tears cease flowing? When will memories cease creeping in on me at the slightest opportunity? Why do these memories devour the rays of light inside of me? When will they stop their torment?

I am a bundle of nerves right now.

My ex-husband came into town today !

No big deal, but the big deal is : He has never sought out the family he abandoned over 10 years ago. The family he left for the arms of another. He has never bothered about the lovely kids we had together. He cares less that he could walk by without being able to recognize his own children. What colour of blood could run in such veins?

What kind of cruelty could power such a heart? Why would he not look back on memories? Why would his 'love' hurt so bad?

Miracle and Eden were eight and six respectively the last time he saw them. A time that he hurt them so bad. And uptil now, he still has not deemed it necessary to make amends.

I weep for what he has done to them, to us and I keep praying that their pain will distinguish rather than embitter them. But I want him to know that he has lost out. Look at the lovely kids he deserted. He wasn't there when they learnt new tricks. He wasn't there when they won trophies in school. He wasn't there when they cried. He wasn't there when they laughed. They make me proud. They make me forget how 'love' hurt me so deeply and they replace every distress with utmost devotion and affection. He has lost chunks of their lives so valuable, so indelible in my heart and I hope he doesn't realize this so so late.

My 'Miracle'

My 'Eden'

These are my jewels, my pearls, my treasures and the 'apple of my eyes'

I feel much better now. I will hide my sadness in the depth of the night and when the Sun dawns, my smile will glitter again.

Thank you @ulog for reading.

@edith4angelseu

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