Life is a dream

in #ulog6 years ago (edited)

Someday I feel that my late American husband was just a dream! (He came to China lonely and he passed away suddenly in China again, I have never seen any other member of his American family as well as any of his American friends in reality. My sister has the same feeling as me, she also doubts if he was only a dream.) This dream is sweeter than honey, at the same time this dream is bitter than goldthreat(in China, goldthreat is regarded the bitterest medicine).

Yeah, our life is just like a dream.
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Suddenly those people who are so near to you become strangers, or the most heartbroken thing happened-- horrible death just parted you from your lover forever...

Suddenly you have the chance of getting a lot of money, being lifted like a nobility; suddenly you find your life comes back, as poor as a church mouse, nobody cares about you ...

Although I claim that I hate my late husband's American family who treated me too badly and cruelly, (they refused to deal with his funeral in China heartlessly.) when I read the post---"missing you dad" from his younger son in Facebook, a warm current just goes through my heart, my eyes swim with my tears again. At least, I begin to believe that he was not only my dream, he once really lived in this mortal world, he was really that man who I have waited for so long long time with all my life and soul...

Those people--his American kids whom he loved deeply with all his life are missing him now, I am really so happy to know he wasn't forgotten by them, I am really so happy to know that his American kids are not made of cold iron or steel, but the blood and flesh.

Because I always feel his love to his kids was not worthwhile, his kids only asked for his last penny, but seldom caring about his practical difficulties. It seems they didn't realize that their father was not that wealthy pharmacist any more like before, and he was also very silly, he still tried his best to satisfy their material needs, such as helping them buy car and pay his daughter's wedding cost, etc. But don't forget, his kids have grown into adults, they all worked and earned more money than their father, what's more, they also have a step-father who supported them... So when we finally married in China, their father had no money.

Of course, maybe his kids just feel that I am a greedy Chinese woman who asked for their father's last penny, instead of caring about his health, as result, he died in China. Oh, God, I really didn't know he was in such a bad healthy condition. His sudden death just killed me!
His younger son also posted a blog in his Facebook page, saying he dreamed his father told him that he was saving money to return to US, and he had to run away from me.

Below is his original passage:

I asked you what happened. Why didn't you call us or email us to tell us you were OK. That you weren't dead. You told us that it took you a while but you had to run away. Run away from Gina. To save what you could and fly home as soon as possible and then here we were. All united again...

It is really so ridiculous! Run away from me? Your father and me even didn't live in the same place in China, since I felt it was not good for me to give up my job before I could get American visa, we need to save money for my American visa.

Who knows I was cheated? Once marrying an American, I can get American visa freely, no need money. However, you have no idea how expensive American visa for Chinese is! you have no idea if you are a foreigner... It is just the priviledge of those wealthy Chinese good at English in upper class! They are very proud of their holding American visa, this priviledge just helps them earn a lot of money...

At that time, I didn't know how to open Facebook with VPN, I was very ignorant about outside world. Thanks to bloody Chinese internet blockade policy! Your father also never tried to let me contact his American family. I was so self-abased in the bottom of my heart. His American family has money, they must look down on me.

My self-abasement weighed on me like a huge stone.

You see, I am from a poor and humble countryside family, having no good college diploma and no way to earn good money, too. My deepest memory is poverty! (Of course, maybe I should say that I own a good government job in a small place, which was offered by one of my relatives who is a big official. Pitifully it is just him--the once benefactor who ruined all my happiness with his power again. Maybe he suddenly felt regretted, he didn't want to see me succeeed and be above him! The horrible jealousy urged him to make trouble on me! God knows! Just to see how Prince Harry's wife's sister and brother tried to slander her and ruin her marriage! ) But how could I marry an American scholar from a big and wealthy family? It is really like a miracle. All Chinese called me as a lucky woman, they envied and ruined me to death!

God, even if I myself also felt that I was really too lucky!

But I ignored my special advantage. Comparing to my American husband, I was younger than him, youth is just my biggest capital.

God knows that it is all due to my worship of American diploma. And I really didn't know he had heart disease, I really didn't know about it, since he graduated from a first-rate American pharmaceutical college, he should be just an expert in medicine.

A bolt from the blue! he passed away suddenly in China. God, save me! It is a man who I worship crazily, crazily, how God took him from me? He was my craziest dream come true...I can't lose him...

When I saw and touched his icy and stiff corpse, my body woke up. In a split second, I became a real woman, he was my man, it is him who decided to marry me, I should grasp him tightly, why I became so self-abased and even kept away from him when he really came to China?

I am really too silly! Just like my sister said, he was like an priceless gold hairpin, dropping in the well of me occasionally, but no matter how precious and expensive that gold hairpin is, it just belongs to me.

I am so silly, I daren't own him, because I worship him too much, too much! Until he passed away, I suddenly realize that he was not only my respected English teacher, but also my man, he was my man. I lost my man, my treasure forever...

Worship is very silly, but God knows it is just the highest form of love!

I know this life I don't worship anyone any more!

I also know that his American family can't understand my love/worship to their father forever. I am not that kind of evil and calculating woman as they imagine, I am only a silly, naive and old Chinese girl who worships American scholar/diploma blindly.

Life is a dream, my American diploma dream has been over now! Nobody cares about your diploma, you died so humbly.

Even if a low-down Chinese peasant-worker died, his employer can pay a sum of money to his family as his death compensation, but just to see how that bloody wealthy Chinese school treated American scholar ruthlessly! Nothing! His death had nothing to do with them, since he was not the formal teacher. How can those wealthy Chinese good at English and different laws between China and US be so despicable and evil? Bloody wealthy Chinese good at English just take advantage of the ignorance of people about the different laws between China and US!

I don't know what my next dream can be!

But I know life is when a dream is broken, another dream is coming ...

Mavrodi passed away suddenly this year, his MMM empire also collapsed with his death. However, he told us that the MMM financial Apocalypse is inevitable! Let's change the world together! On his birthday August 11st, there was a wonderful blog to remember him spreading among the old MMM members all over the world : 愿Sergey Mavrodi的记忆永相随!
May the memory about Sergey Mavrodi follow us forever!
Oh, May the memory about you--that kindhearted American scholar follow me and your American kids forever!

In order to help foreigners to know about the huge gap between the rich and the poor in China, I just upload this picture here, you can draw your conclusion by yourself.

Here I must point out that my American husband's Chinese school belongs to a special class in China, that class is very wealthy, it belongs to an international business class but having not good domestic political right. So my late American husband's exwife blamed me for introducing him an illegal Chinese school, no, it is not true. It is a very wealthy class! They control the only way of allowing Chinese students going abroad!

The rich and the poor old people in different classes of Chinese society:
The top class is from the central government agency;
The second class is from public service unit;
The third class is from the enterprise unit;
The bottom class is from Chinese countryside!!(80% Chinese people belong to countryside people. )
What kind of country China is! I guess you have had your answer. But the top Chinese class live a very comfortable and noble life, maybe China is like India.

My "silly" American husband was very ignorant about China! I only wanted him to be happy, staying in the top class of China, who knows my "silly" love to him just ruined each other?

What he needed is not money, but love and care! A poor American is also a wealthy person when he/she comes to China!

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Life is a dream!.
Yeayy. 😍

You have a minor misspelling in the following sentence:

Just like my sister said, he was like an priceless gold hairpin, dropping in the well of me occassionally, but no matter how precious and expensive that gold hairpin is, it just belongs to me.
It should be occasionally instead of occassionally.

Thank you, I will revise it now.

Life is a dream, just as the alternative, parallel worlds that develop, without us being able to communicate with them. Sorry for your loss.

Thank you! What I can do is pray the memory about him will follow me forever! The crazist dream once really came true!

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