ULOG: DAY 24- "OVERNIGHT NOISE"

What happened to us was hilarious. From the previous week, my eldest sister created a Facebook group chat namely Babaeng Tambayawan exclusively for my cousins, sister-in-law, younger sister, and me. At first, I suggested that maybe we can add mother so she will have fun in messenger with us, but my eldest sister (Clare) said no way coz she will know our secrets.

Clare is far from us. She's living in the US with her husband. Soon, my younger sister @gina2017 will move to California. I will be left at home with my mother, sister-in-law, and my cousin. The group chat was made we can feel like near to each other. The Internet is a great help which people we loved who are away from us are not distant.

In our group chat, we always make sarcastic jokes especially at night where everybody is not busy. Clare always sends us her pictures so we will know the places there and what they do. Indeed, their environment is always clean, everything is organized, we can't see many people because most are busy during the day. She was shocked the first day she moved because there is a big difference from the country she grows up. She can always hear me saying how I wish to live there. Not just the clean and organized environment they have, I like the friendly people that will never judge us according to our outfit, high heels, makeup, hair, and face. She said that she is amazed that everybody is welcoming, concern, and openminded. I also like the weather. When we video chats, she covers herself a thick blanket to warm her up because sometimes, they have a lower degree Celsius.

Last week, I never had a great mood communicating with Clare and cousins online. In fact, I left the group. She posted many things on Facebook I liked and commented, but I didn't want to talk for fun on chat.

Going back to those days where I was still on our group chat, I admit my jokes are also sarcastic that can make them grin too much. We always had a noisy house in the middle of the evening to laugh together. My mother is disturbed by her nap sometimes because of our huge giggles. It was hard for me to sleep early because spending time on my phone screen has become my routine especially now that Clare is far away from us. It is crazy because even if my sister-in-law and cousin's room is beside my room, we do the video call in our group, assuming that they're far away from me too.

On our group chat, I told my sister that I was broken when my lover didn't message me on Skype even it appears he was online. Then I stayed away from Skype for 1 week so I could forget him. I watched inspirational Youtube videos to move on faster and I read the Bible. However, my cousin was in love with her man who planned to visit her this coming September. I was in a quiet insecurity thinking that she will marry before me. I don't wanna live single alone and to be with a single mate can relieve me, thinking I am not alone. But I was certain she will marry before me because they're so sweet with each other and her lover sent him a gift to have what she wants. He also told her to get a valid ID so he will send her money to buy a new phone and many things including bikinis. I was happy for her but there was a little sadness. But one week later, my cousin's lover became cold. He never messaged her even he was online. My cousin was fighting the pain because she felt a little bit of rejection. Then I was happy I have a single mate again. I moved on already from my past and she was broken.

My cousin thought that she needs to change herself to make her lover come back, she needs to change her profile picture on Facebook from the innocent look into classy and sophisticated. If she will do that, Stephen will message her back. Her friends were shocked at seeing her new look. Many were commented that she looks not right and judged her that she is slutty seeing her blue eyeshadows. She tried to change, but he lover didn't message her until now. Then, she wrote in her newsfeed where I commented that she needs to move on. "You're a brokenhearted one, not me," she replied.

Upon her reply, I was upset sensing her ego. Quickly, Clare commented. I replied with a sarcasm joke, posted a handsome guy's face. Clare commented back that I shouldn't post a guy's picture in a comment box. Then I deleted my comments immediately, but before that, I left a few lines that they shouldn't take life seriously. They knew me already how funny I was but they misunderstood my jokes. I felt like whatever I say, I am not right. Every time I talk with my cousin even in person, I am careful with my words for she thinks she is always right, which is not true. But because I don't want an argument, I remain to hide my feelings. She should know that she's very wrong with her opinions and beliefs, but I am trying to adjust because I am older than her. Now you know I am older so you understand why I am upset if she contradicts my assumptions. I hate it.

After the happening on the Facebook comment box, I left the group chat that Clare created. The noisy area became silent. Mother slept early in the evening because there was no louder. I disliked them to come in the room to make gossips again and most of all, I disliked to be disturbed at work. It was a week I never talked to my sister because I felt like I can't always think good.

Last night, Clare and I talked. She asked what's the matter with me for being so quiet on our group chat. She never knew I left the group because I was upset. My sister-in-law said she noticed I left the group because I became sensitive. Then I told Clare about the reason why I was silent. As we talked on cam, my cousin and sister-in-law were in bed laid beside me. Then I explained the truth that I became sensitive with their serious comments and that I was always contradicted. Clare said I am very childish who focus on shallow things. I was relieved for expressing my feelings. When I told them the truth, they just laughed and I laughed too. Suddenly, Clare added me back to the group. Again, we laugh and joke without problems.

Disclaimer: The content and illustrations are original.