The debt collectors
I know it's part of the game so to speak, the way its supposed to work. They call you, and call you, and call you, almost without regard for the time or day, until you feel like they are closing in, like all of the sudden they will be seating in the backseat of your car wanting to talk to you about the money you owe them.
I've made some terrible choices in the past few months, and honestly I'm not very proud of them. Turning off my phone to not have to deal with the hundreds of phone calls has also resulted in isolation. All of the sudden, many friends who I would normally talk to are feeling like I'm pushing them away, and that was not the intention.
I have to explain to them, I have to tell them how much I dread the debt collectors and how my phone has become a source of anxiety for me. Yes, every single time it rings I'm thinking "Oh... someone with a passive aggressive tone, trying to get me to prioritize that debt over my roof and food" . I mean, I know they can't force, not really, but knowing what is the plan, knowing how they will juggle words to guilt me into compliance, always makes me anxious.
But, I think I found the trick to this whole thing last night, airplane mode. Since many of my friends and family members use whatsapp and debt collectors don't, this is the ninja move to not sacrifice my connection with them, but sacrifice all the connections with THEM.
You would think that I would have the mental capacity to draw a line, between all the phone calls that come from none friendly entities, and the ones that come from the opposite, but for some reason this has been a battle I've not been winning at.
The debt collectors, if they only knew how much anxiety they've caused me over this year, and how much they've made me wish I did not own a phone.
Mate. Some news. Everyone makes bad choices at some point.
Mate. Some more news. You will make more bad choices in the future.
But no one died, and you need to get a grip on the anxiety mate, visit a doc if you need to, or do that anyway and when they call in future, tell them you're under the doctor for a mental illness. I'm sure in your land of litigation, they will be shit scared of harassing you any more.
The thing is, as time goes on, you will start building up an immunity to the constant harassment and it will get easier.
Stash anything that has value and sentiment, then sit back and deal with things at your own pace. Don't let them paralyse you.
Keep working on here. Places like this are brilliant therapy when you feel the whole of the real world is getting too much.
Best wishes to you fella :-)
UG. I've only had to deal with debt collectors once. Moved in with a friend and didn't put the internet in both our names (first time I moved out on my own). I left and he kept living there but didn't pay the bill. About 2 months later these debt collectors called asking for 200 bucks for like 6 months past due internet charges. I called the guy who was living there and told him to pay it and he said he would. Never did. They called like 5 times a day. Always someone new. It was ANNOYING. I told them to shut off the internet and I'll get someone to pay them. They shut it off but the guy never paid. So after I gave in and paid, they still called like 4 or 5 more times and I had to tell them I already paid for it. Needless to say, the guy still owes me 200 bucks.
Ah shit man, good luck with taking care of the debt. You can do it bro!
I know how that feels. It got so bad for me a few years ago that I just went and filed bankruptcy.
Posted using Partiko Android
you really need to look into your rights for debt consolidation , that will also put the calls in check .
Sorry to hear about your plight @meno . Money lenders and asset vendors often employ stratagem with the underlying purpose of entrapping people in debt. Especially younger people who do not at the time fully understand the potential ramifications or fiscally insecure people who feel they have no other options. In many cases i find this practice despicable. However ultimately responsibility lies with the victim/offender (more than one way to look at it if i try to remain impartial)
I will attempt to offer some friendly advice - its only advice this doesn't mean its good advice, you will be the judge of that but I offer it freely and in good faith.
Your anxiety is something perhaps based on the reality of the situation. The flight mode life hack you mentioned although ingenious appears to me to be an anxiety containing measure, which may help short term but long term the debt is still there and the old enemy anxiety will adapt and evolve and could return and plague you. Anxiety has a horrible ability to do this.
Maybe it is time to steel yourself, grit your teeth and hold your head high.
Seek aid and assistance through official channels to consolidate your debt. Consolidated debts can often be vastly reduced payments on what would be needed to repay each individual debt. Not sure where your from but i found this with google search:
https://www.usa.gov/debt
similar services are available in the UK where i come from
https://www.gov.uk/options-for-paying-off-your-debts
Should you achieve this then the collectors have no right to call on you. If they do you can answer your phone in confidence and if needed use a passive aggressive tone to inquire why they deem it necessary to harass you when you have taken the responsible steps within your power to resolve the debt. They often lose the smell of blood at this point and realise they can either accept smaller payments over a longer period of time or risk the debt being absolved.
Perhaps consolidation is not the answer for you but there are other options as mentioned in previous reply's to your post such as bankruptcy.
Whatever you decide to do I urge you to not only use containment measures, but also use a long term stratagem to eliminate the scourge of anxiety from your life just as long term strategy is used to dishonourably entrap many vulnerable people in an endless cycle of debt it also has the potential to free them.
Best of luck to you @meno there is light at the end of the tunnel and a man of your intellect has every chance of reaching it.
If you're willing to use it and its available in your area I would recommend utilizing Google Voice. With GV you can port your existing number in and set it to only allow calls through that are in your contact list. Anyone else will get filtered to your voicemail or at least forced to identify themselves before speaking with you. Its a really nice product offering that could definitely give you value to be able to utilize your number again.
oh wow, i did not know this... im going to look into it, thanks.
I hope it helps you. If you need any help setting your filters feel free to reach out and I'm happy to help!
Que bueno que logres hacer " the ninja move" para poder seguir comunicado y huir de estos tipos jajaja.
Disculpa que me ría, se que esto es serio, pero no te imagino ansioso pensando si atender o no una llamada.
Te envío mis mejores deseo de que pornto salgas de todas esas deudas, eres un gran tipo, muy generoso y la vida te devolverá todo lo bueno que haces, muy pronto.
Had some bad ones in my life as well, shit gets crazy sometimes...
The debt collectors are a pain in the ass but at the end of the day, just doing their job. I've been in many battles with them, its best if yall make a payment plan and go from there, remember, the only way to get rid off them is by paying our debt. Better slowly, but surely than them breaking your balls all the time.
PS: Good move with whatsapp hehe but still consider talking to them
Good luck man!
I don't hate them per say, they just give me anxiety... thanks brother
Fuckers! I still have them knocking at my last address in the UK for parking tickets.. even though I did fill them out lawfully, they keep on persisting!
At least now you can keep contact with the friendly's :)
you've been out the UK for years right? hahahah
Yep, was there for just 2 weeks in in 8years 😂
I must add, you could start going dumpsterdiving and instead of buying food,give the money you save to them 😀