Living in Fear and Everyday Struggle of My Life
People keep telling me that I look awful. I look like I am sick. I know they mean well and they want the best for me. Still, I am so tired of this. I know I look like a living corpse. I know I am skinny and I know that I always look tired.
I do feel tired all the time. I am not as healthy as any other young man of my age. I look so old. I have shrunken face and bulging eyes. I look like so malnourished as if I have survived a famine.I eat healthy and I am not needy.
Last few years of my life have been like this. I keep battling one disease after another. I started losing weight again and my body doesn’t look good. Yesterday, I went to a doctor, he prescribed me a bunch of medical tests.
I woke up 5’0 clock this morning in order to go to diagnostic center early. It is because if I arrive there late I have to wait in a long queue. I did reach there early. Still, I had to stand in line. I couldn’t give one medical test today because I ran out money. Tomorrow I have to go again. I have money but I have to continue the same cycle again tomorrow.
Wait in line, pay for registration. Give the blood sample, take some glucose,give blood again and wait 2 hours. Then give blood once again. I have an OGTT test tomorrow.
Today I gave blood sample for a number of tests. I had a Chest X-RAY and Ultrasonography of Thyroid Gland. I came to my home exhausted. I have to wake up again tomorrow at the same time. I have to wait in a long line to collect my reports and complete that OGTT test. Then I have to see the doctor with all those test results.
I don’t want to sound disappointing. But sometimes I think:
What is the point of all of this? How long will I be able to live like this? Sooner or later we are all going to die.
I am so tired of this. I hate to live in fear. I don’t like to worry about life, paying bills and finding a job. I don’t like people sympathizing over my health issues. I hate to see people crying at funeral. I just wish it all to end soon.
You got a 50.00% upvote from @stef courtesy of @siphon!
I really want to reply to your post to cheer you up a bit, but I have no clue how to do that in a proper not ridicolous way. I guess I'm not good at that. Thus, I send you an upvote through the bot "stef" which is probably worse than any other thing I could have written. We all have our struggels probably in very different ways. At this point the suggestion of the wise man comes which you have heard already a thousend times in other situations. So, as I think you are a clever guy this comment ends without any wisdom in it. Have an unexpected great day.
It means a lot to me.It is the best comment that I can get.It is true,we can't about some people's life unless we have been in the same situation.I appreciate that you had my post voted.Thanks a lot.I have noticed that you read my blogs regularly and always stay by my side.This is what really matters.Have a nice day my friend.I wish you have a good life.
Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by philipkavan from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows. Please find us at the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.
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This post has received a 3.13 % upvote from @drotto thanks to: @philipkavan.
If you're forced to live locked in a room full of shit, only by embracing it you will see value in the few clean spots left. How about this for a crappy analogy?
Well, it's true. If your life sucks and someone tells you how you should be enjoying it, then they're acting stupid. You don't have to enjoy life. But you can enjoy it a little bit. I'm sure there's something like you like to do, like venting on steemit.
My life has sucked for the past 30 years (I'm 30 now!), although in different reasons and on different levels. What has saved me so far is playing videogames and going the extra mile for anyone I deem worthy.
I hope you find the time to immerse yourself in your hobbies, even if you end up doing tedious stuff like having to earn money to maintain your safe harbor.
I don't like people telling me how I have to live my life.We all have something that we feel interested in.As you have said,I enjoy sharing my stories in steemit.I like to write and listen to music.I feel a bit sorry to hear about your life.We all have our own burden to carry.Thank you for taking the time to cheer me up.
Exactly. Our life is only our own to live.
Tell us about your music taste at some point! If you want.