ULOG 003: MY DIARY-MY THOUGHTS

I always have the desire of creating my own diary on steemit. When I saw @rebeccafl diary yesterday I was wowed and I knew it's now time to create my diary with the innovation of @ulog by @surpassinggoogle where an untalented individual like me can express herself freely.
I have decided to be dropping a diary every saturday and for this saturday it's going to be all about my thoughts. Welcome to my ulog and my diary.

I normally have thoughts some which some people may consider wierd but it doesn't really matter to me cos it's all in my head, it's my thoughts. Today I'm letting it all out, I want to share some of my thoughts. Do you know I have imaginary friends? I mean at times I imagine having some certain people as my friends who got my back and I got their's too that we are always by each other side trusting ourselves no matter the condition we found ourselves. It's a wierd stuff but I do think of it every now and then. It's not like I don't have friends I do but I wish we ain't that discrete to each other that we can come out of our shells and burn down the bridges. Lol, I do say we right? When the fact is I am the one that need to do that I find it difficult to open my whole to someone I'm just that secretive I love keeping everything in my head it safe that way I guess. Yeah, I do have trust issues and I know it's freaking bad but is it really that trust issues? The people I have talked to about it always asked me if I have had any bad experience on betrayal of trust before. I know you might also definitely have the question in your mind but let me answer it for you before you voice it out and say what I told them, it's a no. Nobody has betray my trust once how can they betray what hasn't been given? What I normally do give is benefit of doubt. I hardly trust and when I do I don't trust with my whole it has a limit. Maybe this stems from the fact I'm an introvert.

I remembered while growing up when everyone in the house are talking I will always be quiet sitting down listening with keen ears at the end of the discussion is the time I will speak out and when I do my speech always kept everyone stunned if it's not brainy it certainly will be hilarious. My mum do complain of my quiet nature then but just two months ago I went home for holidays I and my sister got engaged in a conversation and I kept the conversation going on even when it supposed to end and my mum said something to me that hurts me but I just let out a smile she said Precious you talks alot. I'm not a talkative I only express myself well to people I'm so familiar with and that includes my family but at times I do need my space to have my thoughts. A friend of mine once told me that I'm so vocal and blunt online but in physical I'm kind of shy. He called me shy which I'm not I'm just an introvert I don't like talking in a group of people. I just prefer talking to one or two persons at a time it's straining for me to keep conversations in a group that's just me.

I sometimes wish that I could have the power to make the world a fair ecosystem that everyone can live in. It's so annoying when I see bad things happening to good people and people that have done horrible things living the good life, those moments is when I want to be karma. Yeah, I do believe in karma one of my favorite quote is

whatever you do today always comes back hunting you

Karma always do it's job but at times it comes so late. If I am karma I will make everyone pay for whatever wrongs they do so quickly and reward those that have done good deeds but it's so fortunate that I can't be karma cos I'm sure I could have go a little bit to the extreme.

I hope to start a NGO someday that fights against children and teenagers abuse I always have this thought in me right from when I was a teen it really gets to me when I see abuses against children it's something so disheartening and what's more disheartening is that I can't do anything to help yet cos I lack the funds. Please if anyone knows how I can support and fight against child abuse without having funds right now please kindly let me know.

These are just some of my thoughts in my head hope I didn't rant too much? If you want to read more about me anticipate for my next diary session coming next week saturday.

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Thanks for reading. Your comments,upvotes and resteem will be appreciated.