Ulog #8/7 Getting a grip
![I have been going over and over in my head whether to do a post or not. I keep coming up with no. This is a very personal time for family.
A long time ago I read a post from @tarazkp that put one's post as a reference to a historical family record that could be referenced generations later.
With that in mind I have decided to give in and do some posting for future generations
This is day three on this post. Ok I am using a new iPhone that I have never used before.
But somehow I don’t believe that’s the whole truth. To many other factors involved. So I’m just going to put it out like I always have.
On Tuesday 2 October 2018 I was informed by an oncologist that I have stage 4 cancer.
Without treatment 90 days. With treatment 6 months or more if the kemo doesn’t get me first
Then of course they get into quality of life
My wife and son left the room.
My question are simple
Where is the source?
How was it missed?
Nether of the question can be answered. Not at this time anyway.
On Thursday 4 October a power port was placed in my chest in order to put the kemo in
If I can get the picture to upload I will .
Tuesday 9 October will be the first kemo.
It will last 6 weeks for the first session and evaluation to see if it is working .
I am angry not so much that I have cancer but that it was not caught in time
There is the picture. Under the skin port that has a catheter running up to a vain by the neck
Hope that your chemo gives you more time then expected. Just at a loss for words with this whole thing. Even knowing this for a couple days now I can't get my head around it. The idea that something like this was missed and you are now at a point where they aren't talking cures, but rather time frames just blows me away.
Hope your treatments don't just extend your life, but allow you to still live it. Chemo can be so nasty. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I try and think that maybe something good can come from it. And it is a possibility at this time. We will know in short order
The family is having a hard time
We did get some good news since I posted this and the brain scan came back negative. Man I was sweeting that one out
Always wondered if you had a brain, now we know for sure...lmao....to soon? Sure hope not.
Hope whatever good you think might come of this does happen. You are due for something good to happen.
ROFL....yea I have a MRI to prove it. how many can claim that. Einstein , oooh no he can't.
who is the man with the brain, who, WHO yea that's right 😆
@wolfhart,
(I type this comment with watery eyes, clumsy fingers, and all the hairs at the back of my neck standing at attention.)
No words can express how much I feel for you, my friend.
I immediately thought about my father when reading your post. He succumbed to Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma 8 years ago.
What did my father do in your shoes after he was diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer - almost 1 1/2 decades ago?
Stubbornly, he decided to accept reality, did not waste a moment on ANY further NEGATIVITY whatsoever; including life anger, countless regrets, or anything else that causes insomnia-inducing depression/anxiety.
What happened next was literally a miracle.
He went into remission for 6 1/2 years!
And in those years, he lived more than in his whole previous 66 years on Earth.
You will always be in my daily meditations.
Namaste, JaiChai
P.S.
Do you qualify for the cutting-edge CRISPR technology? (https://steemit.com/science/@jaichai/breaking-ijch-crispr-manufactures-cancer-killing-suicide-assassins-or-how-scientists-fight-cancer-with-designer-cancer-created).
Oh my dear @wolfhart.
My first thought was rage that this could be.
Then admitting rage would not help, deep sorrow.
But sorrow doesn't help either. And the simple questions you have may not be answered.
So what I send to you is love, and strength. I send that also to your family. To your doctors I send wisdom, or better still, brilliance to help you best.
I couldn't have said it better myself @donna-metcalfe. Thank you for reminding me that there's something worthwhile beyond anger and sorrow.
Every time he writes about how he is treated at the VA my blood just boils. And now this? Oh yes rage was right up front. And of course sorrow for this dear man and his family.
But those energies don't lead to healing. I believe in the healing power of prayer, in its essence the power of boundless love. From that place comes healing. And perhaps Divine guidance? Not asking anyone else to believe it, but that's how I've seen it work and how it has worked for me.
That sounds pretty perfect to me @donna-metcalfe!
Thank you my friend
I will have my answer i can’t talk about it yet
I feel so bad for my family and all the people who have or are going through this
Cancer's ears are burning right now, cuz I just let loose with a string of expletives only a sailor would know. Dang cancer!!!
I was calm but then again can’t talk about that part
One thing at a time one day at a time
I am so sorry to hear your news @wolfhart. You must still be in a state of shock and you family too. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling. I'm sending you lots of love.
I hope your first chemo goes well tomorrow. My thoughts will be with you and your loved ones. 💙
I am over the shock I can't say the same for the family. kemo in about 9 hours. I have to concentrate on it
I am thinking of you @wolfhart and sending you all lots of love. 💙
Thank you I will pass it along to the family 👌
I'm so sorry to hear this, @wolfhart. I can understand the anger that they didn't detect it earlier. I hope the chemo won't be too bad.
Wishing you a lot of strength and courage
thank you @simplmike and for helping with pifc 👍. means a lot
Sometimes there are no words. None that matter anyway.
Still keeping you and the family in my thoughts.
P.S How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
Pumpkin patch
thank you
That's just awful. I am sorry to hear that. I don't know what else to say, but I do hope the chemo gives you more time and puts it down without remission.
sometimes saying nothing says more the words. besides there is to much else to talk about besides the negative
sending you massive hugs to you and your family. I am gulping down the tears. it must have been very hard to write this. Kudos to you.
It’s hard but also helps
I would like my great gran children to have some understanding and maybe this will work
it will be lovely for your great gran children to know where they came from and be able to read it all here on steem. That you for sharing your story so honestly with us. I have so much admiration for you. Keep fighting, don't every give up. xx
Thanks for the repl. I enjoy all the replies no matter what they are about.
I don’t know how to give up. I do want to take it to the next level. But you can’t do that now can one.
I hope someone will read this and say, I will get treatment it is not that bad , and saves their life.
Awareness is a big deal and we should talk about it instead of hiding
Man, that sucks, my heart and prayers go out to you and your family. Hoping that they are wrong and that you can beat this.
I lost an old friend to cancer last week it was very unexpected, they gave him 2 weeks and up to 2 months with radical treatments. Even with the treatment he only made it 3 weeks. It was completely out of the blue, he was running for sheriff until the diagnosis.
Stay strong and have a blessed day.
I will
and that is sure a hardship on his family , 3 weeks, damn
He was out cutting grass and couldn't breathe, took him to the emergency room. It was in every major system and growing fast.
Get some sleep.... it's 3AM