One of the most common criticisms directed at unschooling and homeschooling parents is the “social life” criticism:

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But how will your child socialize?

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This is definitely a valid concern, and indeed, can be a real challenge for homeschooling/unschooling parents.

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Ironically, one of the reasons providing an adequate social experience with lots of peer interaction can so tough, is because public schools have nearly all of the other kids cordoned off, out of reach of those “wild unschoolers.”

While there certainly are some parents who homeschool for all the wrong reasons, and keep their kids isolated from the world for strict religious reasons, or other dynamics, some of which are downright abusive, this seems to me to be such a minuscule, miniscule minority, that throwing a blanket judgement over the rest of the freedom-loving folks engaging in unschooling/homeschooling is an entirely unfair prejudice.

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Age Segregation and Isolation

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To me, the really detrimental isolation aspect occurs in the public schools themselves. Kids need to interact with lots of different age groups to grow up with a balanced outlook, sense of real security, competence, and sense of time and place, and their own roles within their respective communities.

With this type of varied, non-age-group specific-interaction, something very neat happens. 4-year-olds teach 2-year-olds, and learn from 12-year-olds. It also works in reverse. How much the older children, adults, and elderly can also learn from the tiny ones!

The elderly connect us to the past with their lives and stories, while the younger adults live their myriad, varied, and unique daily roles, providing a child the unique and priceless opportunity observe all of these rich, unique, diverse actions and interactions happening all at once, and develop their own sense of interconnectedness, significance, and self.

The child may, in this context, develop a real sense of story—their own story and sense of place—and of their own unique importance and role within their families, communities, and most importantly, their own lives.

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By contrast, the compulsory schooling method segregates children by age group, and keeps them cordoned off from their respective communities nearly every day, all day.

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They are not able to learn how to grow up from their older peers, and left unable to develop a sense of real confidence from guiding their younger peers. Interactions with the elderly are confined to a nursing home visit now and then, and they are taught not to seek and pursue their own paths of interest and learning, connecting these passions to the surrounding community and the individuals therein who could aid them in this pursuit, but to rely on textbooks and boring lectures and to sit still, while the butterflies, the birds and the bees and the sunny days pass them by outside, rolling along with the lazy, even flow of truly productive and sensible nature.

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In Summary, Let’s play!

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Last night my son and I went to visit my friend and his children, and we stayed the night. The kids played, laughed, talked, bickered, worked out problems, took a bubble bath, shared, didn’t share, and learned a lot from one another. We kicked around a soccer ball this morning with a girl from the neighborhood who may have been 13 or so, hit a play center later, then had lunch and went home.

How was all this possible? Today was a national holiday in Japan and there was no school!

So next time someone tells you that “homeschooled kids” aren’t “socialized,” you may want to suggest that the large brick edifice down the street full of kids could consider becoming a voluntary institution, and letting out the world’s most precious treasure now and then, to take a look around, breathe in the air, and enjoy the sunshine and pure exhilaration of following one’s own path, and being part of a real, live, community.

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~*~

(Thanks for stopping by! If you missed the last Unschooling Blog, Vol. 43: “Making Chocolates at Home,” you can find that here.)

~KafkA

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Graham Smith is a Voluntaryist activist, creator, and peaceful parent residing in Niigata City, Japan. Graham runs the "Voluntary Japan" online initiative with a presence here on Steem, as well as DTube and Twitter. (Hit me up so I can stop talking about myself in the third person!)