Today's Humour

in #upvoteplankton6 years ago (edited)

They say children say the damnedest things. Well, adults do too. Sometimes, we speak without thinking. Sometimes, due to the multiple meanings of the words, the meaning of what we want to convey came out all wrong.

Have you ever in a moment of carelessness said something you wish you hadn’t?

This is a collection of hilarious things some people said. Some are slips of the tongue, some are tongue firmly in cheek, some are instances of speaking without thinking, and some are satirical.

Here goes…

I am ashamed of confessing that I have nothing to confess. - Fanny Burney

I am the enemy you killed, my friend. - Wilfred Owen

I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy. - Samuel Butler

I don’t believe it. Prove it to me and I still won’t believe it. - Douglas Adams

I don’t like spinach, and I’m glad I don’t, because if I liked it I’d eat it, and I just hate it. - Clarence Darrow

I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead. - Samuel Goldwyn

I don’t want any ‘yes-men’ around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs. - Samuel Goldwyn

I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest. - Muhammad Ali

I hate music, especially when it’s played. - Jimmy Durante

I hate vacations. There’s nothing to do. - David Mamet

I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. - Jane Austen

I have my faults, but changing my tune is not one of them. - Samuel Beckett

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I like to laugh myself to sleep at nights

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