Why is the divorce rate so high, especially in Western countries, if love marriages work?

in #views6 years ago

Love is just a strong emotion that emanates due to longing of the beloved for each other. However, literature and fiction have made the feeling of love divine, eternal and even god.

Love does not last long just as hunger does not last long.

Nothing is more precious to you than food, when you are hungry,
However, as soon as you had your fill, you don’t even wish to look at the food.
Our ancestors knew the ephemeral nature of love and hence they created the institution of marriage.

Marriage is a sacred institution created by religion. It was designed to last lifetime and endures the ups and downs of married life. Divorce was considered to be the last option to be adopted only in exceptional situations.

In some religion like Hinduism, there had been no provision of divorce at all. As a matter of fact, the marriages are supposed to last for seven lives. It was only after independence of India that the law for divorce was introduced in Hinduism in 1954.

Divorce is never appreciated in religion, even if allowed. Even in Bible, it is said, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery”. (Luke 16: 18)

However, the Western world has gradually become almost atheist as they have lost faith in religions and Scriptures. Their material prosperity has expedited their separation from God as predicted by Jesus Christ thousands of years ago: “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else. He will hold to the one, and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.” (Matthew 6:24)

No wonder, divorces have become too common in Western world. As a matter of fact, most Western people don’t even feel the need to get married as they have no logical reason to bind each other for life. Even when they get married, they don’t feel under any obligation to live with each other for life. They give divorce once they get bored of each other or find a better partner for themselves.

If divorce rates are still quite low in India, it is only because people still have faith in the institution of marriage. Their faith in this institution take care of their temporary anger, disgust and indifference for each other. Their divorce rate is, therefore, much less than 1% in India as compared to above 50% in most Western countries.
In Western countries, there are three things you don’t see compared to countries that practice arranged marriages:

There is little or no social stigma attached to divorce;
Women have social, professional, and legal opportunities to make it on their own; and
Western societies tend to believe that abusive relationships should end.
If you go to a society where there is strong social stigma against divorce; women have few opportunities, and those women who try to make it on their own face resistance or even violence; and there is a strong feeling that relationships should never ever end even if one person in the relationship is beating the other bloody, then guess what? You will seldom see divorce.

It is not that “love marriages end in divorce.”

It is instead that countries that practice arranged marriages also stigmatize divorce, don’t recognize women’s right to agency and self-determinism, treat women badly, and tend to be shockingly okay with abusive and/or dysfunctional relationships.

That’s not a coincidence, by the way.

Divorce goes up when you treat women as people, not property.

All marriages involve making decisions with incomplete information. Many of us don't know what we want and it is not surprising that a relationship for life breaks down at some point. Often time it also involves external factors (parents, children, society) with their own +/-. In short, all marriages are bound to suck without an adequate foundation of compromise and support. Love or arranged - marriage involves compromise and understanding.

The other answers hit on an important point - divorce rates are also an indicator of gender freedom. However, they might be taking the point too far as the world's top divorced nations are not necessarily the leaders in human development [2]. In fact, the only developed nation in the top 10 divorce rate is the US [3]. Divorce is far more complicated than just gender equality.

Think about this - Cuba & Belarus rank at the top in divorce rates. Singapore close to the bottom [1]. Is Cuba freer than Singapore? Russia and Eastern Europe have way higher divorce ratios than New Zealand, Australia, Japan and Netherlands. Is Russia somehow more egalitarian than the Netherlands or New Zealand?

Don't forget the economy
Divorce is a socioeconomic phenomenon that depends a lot on economic growth, labor opportunities, cultural support and career movement. When economies stop growing, a lot of marriages on the edge gets pushed over the cliff. In fact, Western countries are seeing a massive growth in divorce among the rural, uneducated populace, where unemployment is rapidly rising [4].

Here are the top factors that reduce the divorce in the US. Having higher incomes, intact families (in some sense Divorce can be an epidemic as children of divorced parents tend to divorce with a higher probability) and college degrees is much better to reduce divorce rates. As economies slow down in many parts of the world, divorce rates will increase.

Urbanization
If everything else is equal, urban localities will have more divorce. The reasons range from longer commute [5] to information flow (more knowledge of divorce) and poorer support systems. West is highly urbanized compared to the east.

Social support
Although Israel is highly urbanized & educated, its divorce rates are very low as it has a stronger social support system. In many of the metropolises in the east and the west, families are becoming nuclear due to more labor movement. This reduces the support systems. Many divorces happens when the couple are left to fend for themselves without proper guidance & counseling. West is far more urbanized than the east and has weak social/family support.

Religion
Religion affects divorce in various ways. In orthodox countries, divorce is still a taboo. Religious laws might make divorce far more complicated and harder to attain. Beyond that, religion can also work in positive ways [7]. If everything else is equal, people who share a spiritual bond are less likely to divorce.

When a married couple belongs to the same religion, the spiritual bond that they share tends to hold them together and they are less likely to go in for a divorce as compared to couples who belong to different religions.

Legal Systems
In places like Cuba, it is really simple to get a divorce. Thus, more divorces happens for the smallest of reasons. In other places of the world, divorce is a messy procedure. Western nations in general have more smoother legal systems when it comes to divorce. Again, US ranks at the top of the West as it is a much more litigious society than most.

Babies
If one of the couples is not interested in babies, divorce rates shoots up. Millions of divorces in West are attributed to differences of opinion in having a baby. In the east, almost everyone wants to have a child (due to social pressures and lack of social security). Thus, this factor is neutralized.

Other cultural factors
One interesting stat I hit upon is that choreographers are 2.5 times more likely to divorce than mathematicians [6]. In general, having a steady job in a stable sector is a good insurance against divorce. In the West, especially in the US, a lot of people are dependent on jobs that look more like choreography than mathematics.

Living together is another interesting factor that strongly correlates with divorce (as the partners don't take marriage that seriously even after wedding). Drinking and smoking are also highly correlated with divorce rates.

Here is cool infographic of a guy's WhatsApp chat with his girlfriend. In the West, marriage is a bit more about sex than it is in the east. As people get older, sex becomes less engaging and cracks form as the relationship has a weaker foundation to cover the weakness in sex.

Divorce demography
Belarus: The Land of Broken Marriages
10 Highest Divorce Rates In The WORLD
Once Rare in Rural America, Divorce Is Changing the Face of Its Families
Longer Commutes Linked to Higher Likelihood of Divorce - | - Science of Relationships
21 Factors That May Increase the Risk of Divorce
Factors influencing divorce statistics.

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