"I have a relationship with a girl whom I have never met. Could it be real love?"

Excerpt: virtual relationships become more popular. People meet each other online, sometimes years, before they meet in person. Do not fool yourself - this type of relationships is nothing less than the physical interaction. In fact, the preparation on the virtual arena allows people to better prepare for each other, to go deeper into their dark sides and release them, so when they finally meet, physically, their relationship can be more mature. The virtual time spent with another does not have to be filled with words and discussions only. The fact that the physical element is missing is minor, and thanks to technology people can feel almost as if they are in the same room. If you are involved in such relationship remember that you DO have a relationship with another human being. Dignity, respect, honesty, compassion, are just a few of the virtues you would want to practice.

Credit: Sam Woolley

Hi,

Although I don’t know her very well, I have become best friends with a girl through a forum and then an online chat. And although we have never met in person she really trusts and believes me. Does this mean that she loves me? She also tells me “I love you in Christ”. She calls me to say “I miss you a lot” and I reply with the same phrase but in my case, I’m just kidding with her because how can I trust someone I have never seen?! Can you comment on the situation?

Thanks,

JM

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JM,

It is obvious that you have allowed yourself to welcome the living essence of love into your life. That created for you the potential for a romantic relationship with the girl you virtually met. You ask "is it love?" and my answer is a resounding yes! If you choose so. Release all the old notions you know about love, all the kitschy fantasies that you were shown (in Disney films for example) and bask in the experience in the now moment. This is Love for you. And it's glorious.

It is for you to decide what will happen now. You should consider the following facts:

• People’s emotions are at stake here and therefore you should be careful not to play with them. In your situation, there is no certainty what the future holds and both of you enjoy the shield that the virtual connection provides. However, saying things that you don’t mean, or expressing yourself in a way that might mislead the other is not appropriate. One of the basic elements of real-love is to be clear and direct. Are you brave enough to talk with this girl about your dilemma? Can you be mature enough to speak about your thoughts with her directly?! It is a test for you.

• Trust is a key issue in every relationship. In many cases, one is required to give love without knowing how it will be accepted by the other side. Right now you are afraid to trust her. That’s all right. But can you trust your own feelings? Do you know at all what you feel? It seems that you like talking with her, that you enjoy your communication. Isn’t that true? So, why don’t you tell her so?! Are you brave enough to compliment her without expecting anything in return?! Without knowing for sure that she loves you?!

Credit: Pritesh Patel

The field of love is not always clear and cultivated. Mostly at first it is a vague territory in which we have to follow our hearts and boldly trust the inner urges that drive us to reunite with someone we like. You have nothing to worry about so fear not. Simply act and know that you are safe even if she doesn’t love you. The lesson here is for you to develop virtues of kindness, honesty and daring. In your case, there is no better time to do it than this moment.

Good luck!