I Hope the Cops Don't Find this Ounce of Weed in My Pocket

I just got done reading a post from @brianphobos about how he got pulled over the other night driving to Taco Bell... note to self, start drinking crazy tumeric drinks and eating late night Taco Bell, that must be his magic recipe for those spring legs he has and all the dunking he does.

Brian's story got me thinking about some funny police encounters I had, one particular one comes to mind that happenned back in college. I shared it in a long comment on his post, but figured I'd make a post about it, some of you guys may find it amusing.

My Story

So years ago I was in college, I was a Freshman at the time. It was just after the school year had started. Near me colleges tend to go back to school in mid August so it was still pretty hot out.

One night I went over to hang out with some new friends I had met in the dorm across from mine. The way my college was setup was there was about 4-5 dorms that all were around this quad or courtyard area. My friends dorm was just about 50 or 60 yards directly across the quad from mine.

Anyhow, went over there, a group of us were hanging out watching Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas on a projector and smoking some pot. This is years ago so having a projector was kind of a huge novelty, back then they were thousands of Dollars, not something you could pickup on Ali Express for $50.

Later on during the evening we began hearing loud pops. Apparently some idiots on his floor were making draino bombs and throwing them down the garbage shoot. Knowing that eventually an RA or the cops would probably show up I decided it was late and it was probably a good idea to call it a night and walk back home to my dorm.

I said goodbye to my friends and made my way across the quad, again it was a short walk home literally 50 yards across this grassy knoll. At this point it's probably like 2am in the morning. For whatever reason I'm like I'll have a smoke outside before I go up. I'm sitting there about halfway through my smoke just relaxing and thinking, stoned out of my mind I might add and all the sudden I see a cop on a bike pull up and another cop car pull up with his cherries on. I'm just kind of watching this all happen. All the sudden I hear one cop on the radio say "I have the subject on the North end of Taylor Hall".

I'm sitting here thinking I'm about to watch some shit go down. I look around for the subject and all the suddenI realize I'm the only one outside. Before I know it I'm surrounded by 3-4 cops asking me what I was doing, where had I been, etc, etc, etc.

It's about this time I realize I have about an ounce of weed in my pocket. Like I said, it's still summertime so I'm wearing a tee shirt and probably a pair of basketball shorts or plaid shorts, I"m sure this weed is completely bulging out of the side of my pocket and I'm sure it stinks in the humid thick summer air.

It didn't take long for them to figure out I wasn't the one dropping the draino bombs, but all the sudden their attention turned to me and they thought I was drunk. They start asking me why my eyes are red and glassy. I tell them I hadn't been drinking, it's late, I'm tired and I just wanna go upstairs and go to bed.

Now the cops at my school were sometimes pretty strict on underage drinking if they had nothing better to do so they call another squad car to bring over a breathalyzer. They get the machine setup, put the plastic cap on it and tell me blow hard, don't play any games...that's what she said. I blow into the breathalyzer, a couple seconds passes and the digital readout reads 0.00.

The cops are besides themselves, they can't believe it. One cop tells me your definitely drunk, we're gonna have to you blow again. They get a new cap out, setup the machine again and have me blow a second time. I blow, couple seconds goes by, reading comes up again 0.00. Completely at a loss they get another machine, put a cap on it and have me blow a third time. Again, it comes up 0.00.

At this point they give up. They take my name, dorm number, etc and tell me if anything comes up about these draino bombs later they know who I am, blah blah blah. They walk away and leave me sitting on a picnick table outside the front of my dorm completely relieved. Not once did anyone smell the stinky pot in my side pocket of my shorts. Not once did it occur to anyone I was stoned and not drunk. That was a close call.

Anyhow, when I saw @brainphobos story it reminded me of that story. Looking back it's pretty funny. College was some fun times.