weeknotes 181012

As you know, I spent Saturday in the rain and cold, watching somebody swim and making sure they didn't die of hypothermia even if I did. So after a hot bath before bedtime, I slept like a baby until 11.30 on Sunday morning.

I'm reading Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning which I've seen quotes from so often, it feels like I've read it before. Thinking of being in a concentration camp where your feet might swell up so much that you couldn't get your boots on and then having to go out and work in the snow puts my little Lido adventure in perspective, that's for sure.

Later, sitting having a coffee in town, I had a little epiphany watching the people walk up and down in their consumer fog. "What if all those people are actually really happy and it is I, the fat bloke sitting with an Americano, criticising and judging them for being consumerist fools, what if, it is I who am the unhappy one?" Blimey! That's the last time I read uplifting metaphysical literature on a Sunday morning.

Although I still really don't like Mondays, I weighed myself for the first time in about six weeks and I've lost just under 10kg. I kinda knew it was slipping off, but that felt like a lot. I bought some new jeans a size smaller than normal when I first started running and had lost a little, now those one's are too big and I need some more. It's very expensive this running lark, in ways you might not predict. On the upside, I wore a shirt that I like that I haven't been able to wear for a few years for fear of bursting the buttons. Swings and roundabouts.

One of the other side-effects of losing some weight is that I'm more emotionally volatile - some of the comfortable insulation from the world is disappearing. As some friends of mine like to say "The good news is, you get your feelings back... the bad news is, you get your feelings back!" So this week I've been angry and joyful, miserable and excitable, often all at the same time. I think it was Wednesday that was Mental Health Awareness day, so thanks yes, I've been very aware of my mental health.

I ran on Tuesday to break my week of being too chesty to do anything more than a brisk walk without spluttering. That was OK, but I did get a bit of pain in my Achilles tendon the following day. It was still a bit achey on Thursday when I went out again, but after running a mile, it was really painful and I had to limp the mile back home. So it's more rest, more tennis ball rolling under the foot and more foam roller on the calves and thighs. I didn't start running to learn new and deeper levels of accepting my limitations, you know!

Thank god I've got a blog to reflect on the week and get some perspective.