There are only a handful of things that are worthwhile. What people actually think as such, differs vastly person to person. But one individual had quite particular wish that striving towards was worthwhile: meeting dozens of people that he had only met through the Internet, some website called Steemit. The premise itself sounds wild enough, but even wilder is the fact – also a slight problem – that he lives in Siberia, also described as being "behind God's back". And getting out of there isn't an easy feat. Luckily, our Steemian – who ironically lives in one of the coldest locations on Earth – isn't completely helpless; he used to be KGB special agent. In fact, he used to work with Vladimir Putin. Yes, the Vladimir Putin, but that was at the time when he wasn't yet in the lead of Russia and claiming every single word from USA being a propaganda attempt to lessen their might of great power. Hmm-m, it was then when our famous Vladimir Putin – now riding the bear with his judo belt as a harness – was bit more... typical Russian, as typical as one can ever be.

***

In 1989, when our Steemian used to work in KGB headquarters in Dresden, German Democratic Republic, Putin – lieutenant coloniel of KGB at the time – was in a pinch; The Berlin wall had been torn down, the Soviet Union was about to collapse, the streets were one big mayhem and Putin realized the headquarters was to be next. Quickly, he set out to burning through all the documents tying KGB to GDR, but as it happened, he burned so much paper that the fireplace crumbled down from excessive heating and the whole headquarters caught fire. "Guaranteed GDR quality my ass. Well, at least I don't need to burn them myself now."
But there was a bit of a problem: he sort of kinda killed all the staff along the building. Putin had had enough time for himself, but had forgotten to tell everyone else that he indeed wasn't going for an extensively long jog into the Siberia, but was running away from a burning house. He thought that of course the fire alarms would set off – at least that's what he told himself – but the loudest it got, was the flames eating out oxygen from the air.

Looking at the weirdly soothing sight, he completely forgot the mobs, but luck of a fool: no one had any business at the headquarters since it was already been taken care of, it seemed like. Only now did he notice that he in fact seemed like he was going for a jog; he had his Adidas tracksuit on. "Was I sleepjogging again?" Perhaps that was why Putin's act had not raised a single eyebrow in the headquarters.

Putin turned his back for the destruction, but suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder – a burning hot claw through his stereotypical slav suit. He turned and what he saw dropped him down to his knees: a huge man covered in ashes with an ember glow under his skin – it must've been the ghost from the past that his shaman babushka had warned of. He had scoffed it off as pointless folk belief, but seeing this man, born from ashes, he knew his error in mission was now followed with a creature lust for justice.

This is what our mystery man from Siberia told other Steemians on a feasting table at Steemfest. This obviously was met with a few doubtful looks from the seats next to him considering the nature of his claims, but I almost wish they were true for the sheer entertainment value.

"Putin..."

"Who..."

"...take me to Krakow."

"Mother of babushka (a very, very old woman)..." was the only thing Putin got out of his mouth when he realized who was calling him.

"Yes, it is your best friend, death, calling, and you know who will come if you don't return my favor, remember? 1989?"

After the phone call, Putin laid his head onto his hands: "How in the name of Stalin am I going to get this man from North-East Siberia to Krakow Poland? And why does he want ME with him?"
Well, Putin had no option but to obey our Steemian's wishes; he set out his staff to arrange this logistic nightmare that would have to involve Putin having to be on the same plane with our man from Siberia who wanted to attend this event called "Steemfest".

Now, the hardest part wasn't to get our Steemian from Siberia – that's doable – but that the outer world should not get to hear about this. This soft spot of Putin's must be kept secret, otherwise the whole Russia would lose faith in him.
So, Putin got quite the idea from the more extreme side of spectrum: to launch a nuclear warhead. No, not their own of course, but just use their influence (ie. "do as we say or we'll cut the gas") to make someone else take the blame to distract the mainstream media – throwing some meat at them to skin off.
Putin thought for a while and came up with: "Poland!"

"But sir, Poland doesn't have any nuclear warheads..."

"Yea, yea, I know Dmitri, that's only a minor inconvenience..."

Utilizing the power of Russian crackers and fake news, he successfully fed the idea of Poland's hidden world-takeover plan because of their grudge; their land had been Stalin's and Hitler's playground in World War II, so now would be the time to give back in kind – totally plausible.
Putin was in a way accidentally genius, because now he didn't need to hide his presence in Poland, because he would be paying a "diblomatic visit".

"Now hold on a minute...", a Steemian interrupted on the dining table: "...so you're saying that Putin got you a ride here and is ready to start World War 3 just because of you?"

"Well... Now that you put it like that... Yes."

Originally our Siberian thought he'd just take bicycle (don't know what use that is in the Siberian mountains, though he is a bit more hard-core than your typical guy) and ride to the nearest airport where Putin would catch him up. But Putin had a bit of a different plan in his mind...

Do you happen to know a movie called The Dark Knight by any chance? The scene where Batman and his "mate" (some criminal Chinese dude) were picked up by airplane that hooked onto a balloon that was further attached to Batman?
Well that is exactly how our Siberian got picked up.

"Nice tech, Putin", our Siberian said, "didn't even have to climb to the airplane myself."

In the airplane Putin confronted our Siberian: "What do you want from me, you jinx?"

"Didn't I tell you already? I want you to take me to Steemfest."

"No, you always want something more from me, haunting in my dreams, swaying your shadow onto me that I can feel wherever I go."

"That is because you're losing it, Putin."

"NO! You are an evil spirit persecuting me since that day!"

"What day?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"Maybe you should remind my memory."

"Why do you make me do this?"

"I still don't remember..."

"sigh... the day when you saw me cheating my wife. Happy?"

"Oh yeah! Now I remember. That's exactly right!"

"Wait a minute!" a Steemian interrupted from across the table. "So what you're saying, is that you blackmailed Putin with the fact he went "around the corner" for some hoity toity?"

"Oh, did I say that? Oops... I guess you caught me; I'm not actually a ghost, sadly. Always wanted to."

"Would've been too good to be true", another listening Steemian commented.

"Well, the cheating Putin part was true, apparently, since my blackmail went through and Putin really picked me up."
"One time when working in a hotel, I saw him with some lady that he seemed to be... in a bit more closer manner with."

"But what prevented him just... eliminating you for holding this information?"

"Ah, well, I took some photos of the occasion and I made a smart contract that if my heart was to stop beating, a post revealing his scheme would be released on Steem."
"So, I just use that as a leverage for a getting a ride from my cottage in Siberia every now and then. Cause, you know, it's kinda cumbersome to get out of there. Though I don't like to bother him too much because I still like him in good mood to chat me with on the plane."
"Look, he actually sent us his warm greetings!"

*a video launches onto the big white screen of the dining hall*

Dear Steemians in the Steemfest in Poland, Krakow: this is Putin from Russia sending his regards and wishing you for a grand time on your event. This thing, the so called "blockchain", is truly marvelous, because – among the many great things it has brought according to my Siberian friend – it enables showing the truth without the censored skewed propaganda by the US media. Therefore I have decided to personally sponsor and refund the cost of all of your tickets. Just send me a selfie to prove your attendance on Steemfest to my personal account's, @putin, latest post's comment section and I will cover the cost of your ticket.

"Don't you think it's a bit ironic that Putin is talking about truth while trying to cover his own missteps?"

"Hypocritical perhaps, but at least he pays our tickets."

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The End