Consolation
Consolation is something said to make someone who's suffered from something bad feel a bit better. It's supposed to cheer them up, or make them feel it's not so bad. It is something thoughtful said to reduce the pain of the bad feeling someone might be having. It makes you feel that something bad has happened, yet still it's not so bad because this other thing happened. Example when you take part in a contest on whaleshares and you don't win, you could even get an upshare as consolation price. At least that makes you feel appreciated for your efforts.
Consolation often reduces pain and makes people feel better but that's not the case always. Sometimes it just reminds you of what you've really lost. You aren't interested in having solace, but what you've really lost. Whenever someone consoles you and expects you to feel better, you feel worse. I once heard a story where a guy had lost his mother at 56 and was mourning. Another friend trying to console him just made him angrier. He told the guy who had lost his mother that he lost his mother when she was 42 and even that, he didn't get to stay with her through his childhood. He further added that the guy mourning should feel lucky because he spent more time with his mother and his mother also died much older.
Obviously this was made to console the guy mourning, but the opposite was achieved. The mourning guy got really upset and ask his friend to leave his house. Everyone was shocked but he wasn't hearing any of it. What was meant for good has now been taken. The guy was sorry and tried to explain but all fell on deaf. Don't tell someone who is suffering that it is normal or it is nothing to worry about. Don't say you get what they are going through, because at that time, they feel they are going through the worst thing possible. Don't try to be a psychiatric in this kind of situations. Just be there for them.
Consolation can really help people who are in pain a lot when it is done right. I'm not a fan of consolation personally because it doesn't really make me feel better. Nothing can make up for what I've lost or what i'm going through, so would appreciate going through it fully. People are different so just don't go overboard unless you know that is what the person would want. What does consolation mean to me? Consolation means being there for me when I need you. When I want to talk, I will open up myself, but until then, just be present.
