The Taste of a Human Thigh...unfortunately mine, to be specific.

in #writing5 years ago

“How’s the human flesh taste?” I said dryly to Big Dog as he sniffed my thigh where my pant leg covered the injury. “So that there can be no misunderstanding—you are a jackass.” He looked on at me solemnly. There was a hint of apology in the way he sniffed me.

“Why can’t you be more like your brother? He is a refined gentleman. He knows all the right dog pleasantries to say in public. He licks people’s hands in a very charming way. The dog sleeps with his paws crossed, for God’s sake! And he’s got good sense, like yesterday at the beach.”

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Yesterday morning we awoke to a lovely seventy-five degrees, which triggered the siren call of the ocean. We found ourselves there by midday, with our society-appropriate Old Man Dog sniffing the sand at our side. We had only just arrived among a small scattering of people—all segregated into little groups, each minding their own business—when a man approached us.

He towered over me suddenly, when his form blotted out the sun behind him. He had one of those large beer bellies that looked almost square shaped and tanned. Despite the distractions of my tot and my boy playing in the sand five feet from me, he seemed to zero his attention in on my face.

“Hi, I’m Marty,” he said, offering forward a very large hand with short, rounded fingers. I hesitantly shook it, although it wasn’t really a shake. He held my hand like it was a flower, which I guess was sort of nice. “Where are you from?”

“Here,” I said.

“Me too,” he said, then reached out toward Old Man Dog. The Old Man is a reincarnated duke or something. He takes propriety very seriously. He always politely acknowledges a hand that pets him, but not so this time. He moved skillfully away to avoid the man’s hand. The man moved toward him again, making an effort to sound friendly, but again Old Man Dog would have nothing to do with him. A moment later I made a polite conclusion to our conversation and he lugged on down the beach.

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Ten minutes later I felt the animalistic pull to look up and catch eyes on me. I looked up to see the man lying on his side in a diagonal line about ten feet behind our place in the sand. He was staring at his phone with the back of it angled toward us. "Paranoid—he wouldn't be filming us. He’s probably watching a video," I mumbled. I glanced down at my own phone from where I had just been taking pictures of the kids. Every time I go to the beach I take blind pictures because the sun is so bright the screen is almost useless. He wasn’t watching a video.

I interrupted the kids from the pretend cake they were making in the sand and we took a walk down the beach about a half a mile. All was well. An hour later we wondered up to the beach’s playground, and there he was. He was sitting on the bench, still alone. He immediately said hello, like he had been waiting for us.

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“Old Man Dog knew—he’s got sense. And then we have you being a jackass trying to fight the dog from down the street. The harmless golden retriever. She just looked up at us like ‘what’s your problem, man? I just wanted to sniff your butt.’ I agree, she wasn’t the smartest walking circles around you after you started to snarl, but was it necessary to snag my thigh in the process of trying to bite her? No, it wasn’t.

Big Dog set his fuzzy chin on the edge of the couch and looked on at me with his deep set gold eyes. Passionate apologies were pouring from his silent expression.

I let out a sigh while I nuzzled my face against his. “It’s a good thing I love you.”

I wonder how my thigh tasted. Never mind, I don’t want to know.

Sort:  

Creepy Guy !! Ugh....

Sorry you were collateral damage. Hope it's not too bad.

It was pretty ominous looking on the walk home, but it actually isn't too bad of a bite. Dog bites hurt more than other puncture wounds...it's a good thing I love him :)

The weirdos one meets on the beach. Your intuition said it all when you felt uncomfortable with his short stubby fingers. Hope your thigh is ok.

Intuition is a fascinating subject. Mine has a long history of accuracy, but not necessarily being listened to.

It is like a ping when I don't listen to my intuition. Like, ping I forgot the umbrella that I fleetingly thought of as I went out or that cardigan when I thought I might need it. I always regret not listing to mine, lol.

That's a great way to describe it.

What a creepy experience but i hope your thigh wouldn't hurt so much. Animal instinc is more trustworthy @ginnyannette. Hope that your day at the beach will be better later on. Old man seems a bit out of his nice attitude😊

Agreed, animals know people so well. Old Man Dog has pegged people accurately numerous times over the years. I think Big Dog would too if he could stop worrying about other dogs sniffing him :)

My thigh is on the mend, thank you.

I need to read over your posts to find about big dog😊 most of time old man dog always coming along with you and the kids

They are big characters in my life :)

Hope your dog had all his shots and you keep that wound clean!

I got bitten by an Australian Cattle Dog on a run through the woods last year. No leash. The owner said, "Don't worry, he's friendly!" and then the thing took a triangle sized hole out of the back of my leg. Since I had no insurance (American) I got the guy's phone number and took a picture of his truck's license plate, tied my tee-shirt around my leg, and walked home. Washed it with alcohol and held the wound together with some of those adhesive strips. It took a month to heal but could have been a lot worse.

I knew that if I had gone to the hospital, the police would have seized the dog and had it put down. I didn't want that to happen, although I have considered getting a firearms permit for future runs in the woods.

Yep, I too avoid the doctor unless I'm confident I'm dying. Big Dog accidentally gave me a concussion a few years ago but I skipped the ER and the $2000 deductible.

That's terrible that dog bite happened, but really honorable of you to not have the dog hunted down. That's my fear with mine getting into a fight with another dog - if he was deemed at fault he would be put down by the county. Leash laws are so relevant as your story shows. The only serious problem I've ever had was with loose dogs approaching us.

It's fortunate you are good with medical stuff. If I saw a full chunk out of my leg I'd probably be on the ground :)

To be honest I was more worried about my wife freaking out when I got home.

Lol. I could see my husband saying that.

Don't be so hard on him. They feel like crap when they do something that hurt their humans. I bet he heels miserable!

He did feel miserable. Now he is begging for my breakfast :)

Intuition always amazes me. How many times have I not listened to it, then said afterwards "I knew it" ....
The one time we went to a fundraiser dinner, I knew I would win the grand prize, so I bought 2 tickets just to be sure...and sure enough I won the trip to Cuba...on the second ticket...

Wow, that's amazing. My intuition never helps me with fun things, it's just warns me about creepers on the beach and such :)

I hope you enjoyed that Cuba trip.

The trip was great, the thing is, more often I don’t listen to the little voice ... lol

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Me either. I'm a chronic overthinking. I overthink the intuition until I neutralize it.

Creepy guy, that's very disturbing.

At times like that I need a thigh biting Big Dog at my side :)

You might need to teach the dog who to bite. Actually, some convincing growling might be enough to do the trick!

haha! like chicken of course! Everything tastes like chicken. Wow that guy creeps me out. You better take both dogs next time.

Maybe I will take both next time :)

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