Pain.

I've been off Steemit for somewhere around a month now. I'll come through now and then and upvote a bunch of stuff. And sometimes I think of a post I want to write, but haven't been able to keep the momentum of wanting to write it for more than a paragraph or two.

Duluth Cityscape

Why? The title says it all. I have been in over my head with pain and accompanying that pain is an extremely sour and negative attitude.

If you saw my Facebook timeline, you wouldn't believe I am the same Hickory Mack you've come to know here. Short temper, cranky, and negative have been my every day.

I have been working over time at work, six days a week, to get through August and the "School Supplies Lists" that come with it.

At the same time physical therapy has intensified to build strength in my foot and ankle.

By the time I get home I am hurting and exhausted and crabby and all of my energy goes into being good to my children without being snappy at them.

Two weeks ago I finally had that wisdom tooth removed. By the time the appointment came around I wore a small hole in my stomache from taking too much tylenol, ibuprofin and asprin to help the pain. That tooth had me inconsolably sobbing on my bathroom floor every day, sometimes more than once.

the canal seen from the lift bridge

I thought the removal would be the turning point, but it wasn't feeling any better. Turns out it was dry socket. It took 2 hours to remove the tooth, and the dentist said it would give me a higher likelihood of dry socket happening.

I ended up vomiting at work from the pain. Suicide was starting to feel like a viable option. I was hurting all day. Every day.

My foot is still a major problem at this point. But that horrible, all consuming wisdom tooth pain is finally gone.

It's like a repressive fog has been lifted. I can sleep again.

I'm sorry if I worried anyone by just dropping off of Steemit like that. I just needed some time to handle the worst of it.

And sorry for all the "woe is me" crap on this post. Making my excuses I guess.

I don't even know if I'm up to jumping back in to daily posts yet. But I'll make sure to get back to daily upvoting.

So much love to all of you. 💜💜💜

P.S. Look how big little Albus is getting!