BITCOLLECT . What is your Favorite Sound? . screenplay
FOMOLLOW
EXT. LOS ANGELES - NIGHT
Streets are winding down from the days beating. Weary commuter waits hunched over staring at his phone, looks around for his ride. Next to her an even more trodden down suit and tie, looks further down the road for his bus.
Johnny’s muffin ass waddles down Bunker Hill.
Johnny waddles past patrons on their way to twilight mass at THE LA CATHEDRAL.
INT. THE CATHEDRAL
Whales in bespoke suits & dress, shake hands with the bespeckled Bishop, as they bob along through the iron doors.
EXT. DTLA
Johnny waddles down Bunker Hill Steps.
Johnny waddles across Broadway.
Johnny around 5th, he’s in a hurry, and shoulders through the crowds ahead.
EXT. SKID ROW
The street is packed with homeless parked around the billowing rags adorned stage of bicycle parts. Lit candles glisten upon chrome.
The breeze nudges the wheels in motion. The wheels tug on wires in the sky.
Everybody close to the center sits in flickering glow, not so much to see but to hear. Everybody finds a place not so much to listen, but to dream. Loners and Lovers freckle the crowds of families.
Children sit surrounded safely by parents.
Above the Stage, speakers.
On bicycle racks, backpacks, and in hands, are bluetooths.
The FACE of a toothless ten year old.
The FACE of aged beauty in a Venetian Hat.
The FACE of a dark haired dreamer from the Baja.
HANDS holding ribbons & blades.
BLUETOOTHS amongst circles of people upon which a conversation is happening.
CHILD VO
And that’s what I think about the birds.
PELICAN VO
And that’s what LINDA thinks about the bird.
LINDA VO
Yeah. That’s what I think. They’re
the only ones…
ON THE PERIMETER
Where the edge of the crowd meets intersecting streets, is a well dressed HIPSTER COUPLE with a BABY. They carry their baby to the edge of the gathering where they are met with an armed entourage of six women in black. They surround the parents as the group immediately proceeds into the crowd.
INT. THE CATHEDRAL
The Bishop and his entourage wave smoke over the wealthy with their heads bowed.
Six couples stand in the front row holding a baby.
EXT. WITHIN THE CROWD
The couple and their ninja ladies move swiftly between uninterested faces listening to the bluetooth.
PELICAN
They’re the only ones?
LINDA
Yeah!
ABOVE THE LIGHT POSTS
The crowd rustles in response.
PELICAN VO
Oh yeah? How come?
LINDA VO
Uhm… Because….
HIPSTER PARENTS
Running now to keep up with the ninjas shushing them forward past angry, inquisitive faces. Danger.
PELICAN and THE CHILDREN
Sitting on green and yellow bean bags in clean cotton. Each face a dash of color splashed across the cheek, Linda a dash of blue. Pelican, his white. Otherwise, they are clean faced, barefoot and giggling.
Giggling around them, the San Cliche Band, basically anyone with an instrument present surrounding a big ol birch rim bass drum that says San Cliche.
Johnny arrives at his post, is given a lanyard to wear and a basket.
IN THE CROWD
The Lead Ninja sees her destination stops, turns, beckons and disappears.
THE PARENTS
Relieved for just a moment before stumbling to the ground. The mother stumbles but recovers. The father picks her up. It’s ok…
LEAD NINJA
She stands catching her breath, removes her mask and turns.
Behind her come the parents whom see-
THE TIPI
Standing outside the Tipi, YAANGA, dressed in bison horns, raven feathers, & coyote fur. He opens his arms.
THE CATHEDRAL
The Bishop stands. The assembly stand.
THE TIPI
The mother and father have just arrived. They must decide now. The ninjas’ flinch. The mother looks at her baby in her arms.
BABY’s PERFECT SLEEPING FACE
HIPSTER MOM
Me.. MeeTAYoo? MeetaYOO? MEEtayoo.
Meetayoo nods open armed. She looks at her husband, they nod. She steps towards Meetayoo.
HIPSTER MOM
Gracias Yaanga.
She hands him her child. He turns immediately within the tent. The mother flinches with fear and runs towards the entrance of the Tipi. The father follows. The ninjas stop them both with hugs of love and reassurance. Once the mother has calmed down, the entourage moves inside.
INT. TIPI
Meetayoo is waiting for them with the baby. He turns once more towards the interior.
Nine groups of three white ninjas arrange tightly like the kabbalah.
THE CATHEDRAL
Six families approach the baptistry flanked by Bishops and Priests.
THE TIPI
The ninjas are more like nurses as each trio handles a baby.
Meetayoo hands the couple’s baby to a trio of caring eyes behind cotton.
The trio of nurses have surgical instruments. The black ninjas hold the mother and father nearby.
The baby girl is cradled in one of the nurse's’ arms. The nurse looks at the mother. The mother looks at the nurse.
THE CATHEDRAL
Hands are waved and water is poured over a crying child’s head.
THE TIPI
The BABY’s feet & hands are gently caressed. Something is found, and a palm is held. The shimmer of sharp steal.
BABY’s FIST
Holding tight to a finger, the blade draws close to the tiny dot of blue light atop her wrist.
EXT. FLUTTERING DOVES
FROM ABOVE
Pigeons and Doves Fly!
PELICAN’S BICYCLE STAGE TENT
The band finishes a little interlude.
LINDA
(in giggles)
My turn my turn to ask a
question.
PELICAN
Yes and make it a good one.
Linda huddles up with a group of other kids besides her. They giggle and look back at Pelican.
Pelican Blinks.
The group giggles back into a huddle and then with encouraging hushes, Linda sits up straight.
LINDA
What is your favorite sound?
PELICAN
Favorite sound? Golly that’s easy.
LOS ANGELES SKYLINE
She shimmers like a jewel in the desert.
As Pelican answers the question with his story, we see both his experience, and the surgical procedure removing a chip from the baby’s hand.
PELICAN VO
One time I remember, I think it was USA, I was in an alley. I heard the sound of a powertool competing with a lawnmower in the distance for most annoying. Lawnmower has a nice grind. It is steady and guttural, droning out any substantial memory or thought. The powertool comes and goes, but strikes like an unannounced dentists with a two hander in your jawbone. Granted it’s not as piercing as some tools or even the beeping of backing up dumpers, but it’s enough to catch your teeth showing. Now it’s a leaf blower’s turn as it takes over for the lawnmower. For a minute there you were like, shit almost got quiet enough to piss in a jar. Nope! Lawnmower Leafblower Man come around the corner followed by a Flatbed with the lawnmower idling in the back. Of course. Of course the jar gets stuck cuz you were kinda scared when leafblower. Clench. Boner. You thought maybe they were moving up the street, nope the crew is in your face. They got work to do or just passing through? You got your dick in a jar and that’s cool and all but really it’s not. It’s a big heavy glass cock ring and the more it hurts the harder it gets the more butthole goes gone. Yes. Yes and. Yes and you still gotta piss but lawnmower-blower man is comin down like a parade with his buddy in the truck. Toyota! Smile and nod. Just smile and nod. Just smile and nod. Cuz thank god that powertool somewhere is getting louder and winning most annoying at this point. Ribbons and trophies put a baby in the cake for that god awful powertool. Sounds like it hit the bones of the building. What sound is that? What tool is that? At first maybe a drill, now sound like a saw, or some kind of drill saw. Yes and right now it’s going to town on some crossbeam jawbone big time. How can you not notice it? Jesus fucking hell it’s the middle of the morning. Even lawn mower leaf blower men start looking round like, what the hell is that? They keep looking around. You keep standing squatting there with your dick in an empty gallon of Mott’s. Right as they’re about to pass they look over at you and make eye contact and all you can do is shrug like, I know right. And just like that, drill saw stops and the fellas stop walking. His blower stops, the lawnmower stops, the car stalls. And it only lasts a second but you remember that the sun was warm. Your butt let’s go it’s death grip and your boner’s out the bottle with just an itty bitty perfect little, BOOP! Lawnmower leafblower men watch you stand up straight and how you gonna play this off? Does it even matter? Standing there with an empty bottle of Mott's and your dick hanging out. What comes next, what do you say? “Well that one doesn’t fit. Nohomo.” That’s what you said. You said that. And what comes next, lemme tell ya, is Unimpressed Silence. Just shhhhhhh quiet, no need to remember that, deep breathe carry on... And they do. Leafblower kicks back on and they chug on down the hill. But yeah, that’s my favorite sound. The sound that silence makes when thoroughly unimpressed. Maybe I was just getting used to it at the time, but I’m pretty sure it’s my favorite sound in the whole wide world.
PELICAN’s FACE
In the sun.
In the present, he looks at everybody.
SLEEPING CROWD
Many parents are awake, but the children are asleep.
Linda and Children are sleeping in their bean bags. They’re bandaged hands over their hearts.
FROM ABOVE
A few drones hover overhead. One begins across the crowd towards the river.
INT. TIPI
Hipster parents sit with the white ninja trio. Holding a crying baby whom we can not hear, the mother touches her poor lil hands and frowns, then looks at the ninja nun nurses and smiles.
EXT. TIPI
The Hipster Parents emerge with their child in their arms. Meetayoo follows and watches them walk without ninjas into the masses.
INT. TIPI
The white ninjas are gathering in the center and placing little blue lights into a bag.
THE BAG
Filled with blue lights, little leather sack is cinched tight and wrapped closed with a strap.
The leather sack is handed from one nun to the next and finally to a familiar figure carrying a basket from group to group. The figure nods dutifully and leaves the tipi.
EXT. TIPI
Johnny exits with his head down carrying the basket.
Johnny joins a line of people carrying baskets.
PELICAN’S TENT
Amidst the sleeping children he drawl’s into the microphone and strums his Air Guitar.
PELICAN
Let us pray-
ABOVE THE MASSES
PELICAN VO & CROWD
En el nombre del madre,
y el padre,
y la Santa Cliche…
Other Hipster Parents move out of the crowd. The train of baskets move toward the river. CHURCH BELLS BEGIN...
BLACKOUT
FOMOLLOW
BITCOLLECT . cryptopia blockchain screenplay
7 . Cowboy & Broken on The Hill
6 . Johnny & The Four Winds
5 . Justin Sun Wants Headlines
4 . Johnny Shorts in the Park
3 . Cowboy & the Pelican
2 . Opening
1 . Sister & the Cowboy
author notes:
:change Cowboy’s BMW NineRT to a Harley Ironhead.
:splice Cowboy into Opening
:more influencer vids
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