Shut Ins - A Short Story Diversion

There is a man in the hallway. He’s got one of those dolly devices with a whole stack of boxes. He must have come up on the elevator because I don’t think he’d take the stairs with that load, do you Charlotte Perkins?

Now hush that noise. We don’t want him to know we’re in here.

It says something on the boxes, but my eyes aren’t good enough. If only these peepholes were bigger, Charlotte Perkins. Maybe in the future they’ll invent see through doors, like those mirrors on the police shows. I could be in here in my birthday suit and watch people go back and forth in the hallway. Imagine!

Then we’d know who’s behind all that noise. Do you remember when the new fellow moved into Susan’s apartment? So much noise I had to put your cover on. Pretty birdie. Pretty birdie, Charlotte.

He’s going away. He’s just left the boxes outside Susan’s door.

Poor Susan. Remember the seed crackers she’d bring you? Yes, we liked Susan, didn’t we? We don’t like many people, but we liked Susan.

I guess we’re all dying now. All the old ones in the building. I heard a baby the other day. Imagine bringing up a baby in an apartment. It’s inconsiderate, really, isn’t it, Charlotte Perkins.

The young man who moved into Susan’s apartment looks like a hippie, can you believe it? This used to be a good building.

Where’s Alfred’s magnifying glass? Papers. Papers. I should look at these soon, I know. But he always took care of things, Alfred. Where would I begin?

There it is.

Charlotte Perkins, listen carefully. I’m just going to slip out quickly - I’ll leave the door open. You’ll be able to see me. If anything happens, if anybody comes, you make a racket. There’s a good birdie. Pretty birdie.

I can't see anyone. Do you hear anything? Okay, here I go.

Darn this walker. Always so hard to get around doors.

…

Oh my goodness, Charlotte Perkins. I’m back. I made it. I’m back. Oh my goodness!

I heard someone coming when I was out there so I had to hurry and do you know what I did? Look, do you see what this is? Look, Charlotte Perkins, look.

I took a box. Just a small one. The others were too big but I could lift this one and I put it on the walker. Not so useless after all.

Can you read that? No, birdies can’t read, can they?

It says Grocery Gateway and then it’s got that ending that lets you know it’s on the computer. That .com ending. That means you can look them up on the computer but we don’t like the computer do we, Charlotte? No, we don’t.

Do you think that there are groceries inside? That’s why I took it. You know we need food, Charlotte, and Alfred can’t bring it to us anymore. Alfred’s dead too, Charlotte Perkins, and there’s no point crying about it anymore. Alfred…

Well, let’s see what we got. How do we open this tape? Do you think the letter opener - yes, that works nicely.

Oh my, Charlotte Perkins. This was a very good idea. Look at the goodies I got for us, Charlotte. Just look.

Here’s a can of - what does that say? Wait, while I get out my glasses. That says that this is a can of tuna. That will be nice, won’t it? Well, maybe not for you, but I enjoy a tuna sandwich.

What else? This is like getting a present, isn’t it? Do you think someone sent all this food to the young man across the hall? Likely his mother sent it to him, do you think?

Hush now, sweetheart. Don’t get so excited. You’re not mad I took it, are you? We have to do something. There’s hardly anything left in the refrigerator at all and your bag of seeds is almost empty.

And this one is a can of pineapple. Well, that’s unusual, isn’t it. Do you think he’s going to cook a ham? Could there be a ham in those other boxes? Wouldn’t it go bad? I love a good cooked ham with pineapple. But the rings you know. I think this is bits.

This one says ‘coconut milk.’ Coconut milk. I didn’t know coconuts had milk, did you? Maybe you did. Maybe one of your friends told you about it, did they? I don’t know if we can use that one.

And this one says Fra - Fratelli’s Mushroom Pasta Sauce. What the dickens, Charlotte Perkins? Do you think the young man’s Italian? He didn’t look it. He was blond, I think. Blondey red. Not Italian, I don’t think.

You know, Charlotte Perkins, I often think that’s the problem with things today. Everything is getting all mixed up. These kids eat all kinds of things now. Remember in last week’s paper we saw they’re opening a - now what’s it called? Do you remember? That raw fish stuff - imagine. Sushi! Ha. Not so old yet that I can’t remember. It’s a sushi restaurant at the diner that Alfred used to go to for coffee.

Now this must be oatmeal. I recognize the gentleman in the hat, don’t you? You might like this, sweetheart.

And this is - well, I guess this is pasta to go with the sauce. I’ve never had pasta, Charlotte, have you? No, I don’t suppose so. Do you think we’d like it? How do you cook it, I wonder.

You know, Charlotte Perkins, the last time Beth phoned she said I should learn to use the computer. That thing - there in the corner. Oh, don’t pretend you’ve never seen it. You remember when Alfred showed me - but that was so long ago.

I don’t have a head for these things, you know that. Alfred was so much better at it.

I wonder how the young man’s mother arranged to have these things delivered. I don’t think I’d be able to do that, Charlotte Perkins. I’d have to make a phone call likely and I wouldn’t know what to say. Or what to order. Do you think they have a list of the things you could order or do you just have to say I’d like some tuna, please and then you get what they send you? Is it very expensive, do you think?

Oh look, there’s one last thing and it’s - oh, it’s cup of soup! We like that, don’t we? Well, this one is onion which is not my favourite. I like the cream of chicken, you know. But let’s have some of this now, shall we?

I’ll just put the kettle on and would you like to try one of these oatmeal packets, Charlotte Perkins? I’ll put a little in a dish for you and you tell me if you like it.

I was quite brave, wasn’t I, Charlotte Perkins? Alfred would be proud. Of course, he’d disapprove of me stealing - that’s what he’d call it.

But, honestly, what else can we do?