Good day. How can I help you?

in #writing6 years ago (edited)

Good day. How can I help you?



I was only 10 min late to work, which is surprisingly above my average for being late. Why do we start so early why not just shift everything up a bit, take back control from the morning people. La Résistance!

Saying you expect things to just go to shit tends to make other people think that you can't get frustrated when it does, in fact, go to shit. The Only difference is the smug look you get when proven right, breaking your normal expressionless disdain.

Well, I say smug look when I mean a look that would stand a good chance of making Satan cry for his/her Mommy. Kudos for dropping the fam though, I don't think if you kept those uppity twats around it would have worked out anyway.

There I was unhappily opening the shop, the chemical printer already going beeeeeeeeeep, as it does when the temperature is low, I get water boiled and proceed to lift the temperature. Why?

Becuase this machine is so damn old but runs, parts are as rare as chicken teeth and that is all she wrote.




The end.




Suck it Fin, I am talking here, so rude, here let me fill your mouth so you can keep busy and not interrupt me.

Where was I? Oh yeah.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!


IDGAF June 14 2018 - Scene 1

Stupid machine, but that is part of my existence and I accept it, telling now if that was a child I would have shipped it off a longtime ago and gotten a new one, much cheaper than this bloody machine.

Raising the temperature of the machines chemicals I expect all to be right in the world, it even initialised loading the paper without complaining. Now to get the test prints going so I can calibrate the color.

Tringggggggggg Triiiiiiiing

Goddamit. Letting the phone ring a bit more, not because I like the ringing but maybe I am lucky and the person on the other side has even less patience than me.

Nope, still going.


     "That photoplace goodday."
          "Hi, how are you?"
     "Good thank you. How can I help you?"
          "I am good thank you."


Very few catch on to the fact that I never ask how they are, but tell me anyway, then I pause so they can get to the second part of the sentence or if being reluctant I just repeat:

"How can I help you?"

This one seemed offended that I want to assist instead of chat about her bowel movements this morning, but I am nothing if not professional.

She gets the email address from me, and I get to go print my color tests, all is right in the world again.

Print. Print dammit, clicking the mouse button reminiscent of cookie clicker, but no printing is happening, so I turn it off and on. Yip, we paid 20 grand for the updated software and now no one ever knows what is actually wrong since it bitches about every little thing.

This goes on for thirty more minutes, just as the temp is correct, and I wish to print my color test then it refuses, beep.


IDGAF June 14 2018 - Scene 2


Phone rings again, I leave the beep because although it bugs me it will hopefully add a sense of urgency to whoever is on the other side.

Urggh her again, I recognise the number, proceed to answer, to no avail. Good 'ol fashioned curly $*&^%$ #@$#@ !@%^& *&^%@ !@#$%^%%$#$ cord, phone falls down from the ledge.

I see the call is on hold by some form of dark magic, so I end the call using my own magic from within, immediately they call back, and I am still busy getting the cord untangled, magically the power cord now gets removed and returned. Done.

Nope, as I turn to go attend to the incessant blairing of the machine, she calls again. Though she was going to send an email, I don't know why people have to lie so early in the morning, so I answer leaving the beep going, wondering if I could make it louder.

Call done, beep stopped and machine hopefully running after this reboot.


IDGAF June 14 2018 - Scene 3


While waiting I go to the door on one of my walks when I am not doing anything in particular and do not wish for that to change. Looking out on the street I see that apart from the main pipe that has burst there is a nice new one, which means even more days without water.

So nice. I am not even upset over that since what else can one expect from a municipality that owes 500 Million to whomever it is a municipality owes money.

No, you can't expect anything more than the most abysmal levels of competency when it comes to South Africa, you can't be surprised that the globules of fat that run anything remotely important know what they are even getting paid for.


IDGAF June 14 2018 - Scene 4


A cesspool of neediness and corruption backed by ancient history, yeah we get it you got the job because you know how to order KFC, steal money and the old government asked for your pass. Shut the fuck up and kill yourself cunt.

There are perfectly capable, less whiny, more educated and selfless black people you could be employed, maybe try that. Employ someone who knows what they are doing.

Disclaimer I would totally sign a petition to allow all members of parliament to be locked up in the parliament building and then get set on fire. Then we can have a single windows 98 pc with software written in Turbo Pascal to run the country and see it flourish

Oh, I never mentioned that although I am at the shop, I also live in the same building which means I do not have any water currently, which is sucky and really impedes my coffee habit at home and work.

Although this post started at 10 am the morning 1 hour after starting my day, it ends now at 4 pm.

There is a lot that happened since then but I can't remember much apart from blah blah blah, we are getting married since we already had this thing that cries so do you print photos we can give the dude that mumbles shit in the front of the church to make it all legit.


IDGAF June 14 2018 - Scene 5


          "Can you help me."

     "Just a moment, I am currently helping here. Do you want to print from the phone?"

          "Yes they are on my phone."

     "Do you know how to select the ones you want?"

          "Yes. I want these photos."

     "Then choose the photos and I will be with you in a sec."

     "Ok. Do you want them all?"

          "No."

     "Ok, then which ones do you want?"

          "Oh I don't know, let me see."

Is kicking a person considered assault?
I only know the saying is "never lift your hands" but there is no such sayings about trip and kick.








All images were made by me - so do what you wish - IDGAF

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Then we can have a single windows 98 pc with software written in Turbo Pascal to run the country and see it flourish

Bwahahahaha you're always good for several laugh out loud tidbits! Windows 98 - OMG laughing.... at least you didn't say Vista 😲

Really? You're without water? That's inhumane! And, you know.... I'm big into water 😉 and of course ☕.

I think IDGAF will become a new saying.... me likey.

Peace out and IDGAF!
XXXOOO
~T

Funny, Vista never even crossed my mind, and in the spirit of expecting the worst. I think it will be the exact thing they choose.

Our water came back late this afternoon after 3 days, which is not so bad. So now I have both water and coffee, was odd looking at the coffee all dry in my mug, almost did a rain dance.

It is a great saying, as I was writing I was wondering about dividers since shit on steem needs those things then I tried to think of a new name for news and my boss tried telling me something and this song popped into my head.

Hahahaha. Ah dealing with clients. Oh well... But if Canadians are boycotting the US, why can't the world boycott China for bullying? :P Oh wait, most countries use China to make stuff cheaply. Whew. I do GAF but maybe I shouldn't.

But seriously, you own a photo printing shop like Kodak? Or you work in one?

I work in one, just feels like I own it haha. Not kodak though they gone to shit in our country here it is FujiFilm and FotoFirst .

If the countries were concerned with anything other than the bottom line and whether this one believes in what they believe in then maybe they might boycott China, or they would instead of allowing those products to be sold at profit for the importing companies not boycott them but demand higher taxes on outside products, set a baseline which will cut into the companies profit instead of increase prices for us and share that amongst the citizens.

They might even stop tolerating people who demand higher wages for doing nothing, cut entire sections of unneeded "management" share those saved costs or spend it on something useful. They might even go so far as to have an entirely open public website where we can see each and every transaction by company and government. Logic is not something that exists in countries , and we will be dead before any of these archaic concepts fade away.

And for fuck sakes stop paying presidents. What is their use anyway?
The world is a cesspool of neediness no matter whether you view it from above or at ground level.

Oh we still have some Kodak here although not that much anymore.

Hmmm yeah, maybe demanding higher taxes would change the people's mind on if they should still outsource to that country.

I still think we need leaders if not presidents. :)

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