The Adversary

Time and again, The Adversary shows up to compete with me in conflict.
Time and again, I engage with him on that level.
Time and again, hatred leads to more hatred and violence leads to more violence.

Our battles are savage, thousands upon thousands of precious broken hearts
and so much blood...the carnage too great for my spirit sometimes.

Primal defense mechanisms activated, I attack perceived attack.
Motivated by pain, I am vicious. 
More powerful than the Incredible Hulk, I am Kali unleashed.  
Blinded by rage, I lash out and destroy...and my actions cause more suffering and unspeakable pain.

I perpetuate samsara--
and perpetuate samsara and perpetuate samsara and holy shit it's a trap it's a trap it's a trap!!

I can't do this anymore; I’m so tired.
I'm a grown-ass lady, and this Spy vs. Spy game
of complete annihilation takes too much energy to maintain.

So how do I change the game?...

...maybe I've been looking at him from a wonky angle…

While he may challenge me on the physical/mental/emotional plane--and I may take the bait again and again--
maybe he’s here to make me a spiritual ninja…

Maybe I can stop blaming him for being a shit and instead thank him for honing me as a weapon of love…
Maybe I can acknowledge the deep and nasty and scary pain he stirs up in me and get myself a healing instead of a fight…

Maybe my healing can bring healing to him too and amend the damage I've inflicted...

Maybe if I don’t size up to him in a warrior stance, then there will be no battle.

I have to admit that I was in dishonor acknowledging this formidable Foe, so attached to his form I was!  

It doesn't matter if he's an asshole, or that he “deserves” it--my  honor is independent of his. I demonstrate MY values through each choice. Each action demonstrates MY character. 

And motherfuck me if I didn't JUST swear to 
Stand. 
In. 
Love.

This is invincibility practice.
This is master training.
This is how to love the enemy.

To hurt him is to hurt me.

Like reaching the last level of Mike Tyson's Punch Out, I'm grateful to FINALLY be able to rise to my heights for the challenge.

May every casualty we've inflicted inspire lasting peace.

I’m so grateful we didn’t kill each other, dear one; I bow to you.

💛 Sara!