Why the F is my eye full zombie vampire?

Read on...

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Moving house: a comedy of errors

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Error 1: The miscalculation of packing down a 3.5 bedroom house

We were smart, or so we thought. A month before the relocation we decided it would be wise to start packing down the house (well, actually I didn’t decide that at all). But whilst Maryse started getting stuck into it, I said I’m crypto-packing so I decided to HODL, much to her chagrin.

Weeks passed by in this fashion.

It wasn’t until the final few days that I realised that Hodling was not a sound house packing strategy and only really any good for Cryptocurrencies.

We meticulously planned everything. The hiring of the truck, loading the truck, cleaning the house, and even the first leg of the 1635km (1015mi) drive.

What could go wrong?

Let’s find out, shall we?

What we had assumed would take about four hours to complete with loading the truck ended up taking 2 1/2 days.

Why?

Too much friggin stuff!!
We couldn’t fit it into the 4.2 meter (13.78ft) truck.
70% of the truck’s space was filled by the time the first 6 hours had passed.

The final 30% took 2 very full days to complete.
Why?
Because that 70% of the truck was barely 50% of the entire contents of the house.

This meant thorough sorting, more brutal culling and prioritising.
Then figuring out what to do with the remainder of the gear.

All humans have a semi-nomadic/nomadic ancestry. So when we stagnate and stay sedentary in one place we inadvertently become hoarders.
At least that’s my theory.

Error 2: don’t stuff large, thin, blunt metal objects up high

So no, I haven’t been bitten and infected by am apocalyptic virus.
A large, long, thin, blunt metal object feel directly into my left eye.
I ignored it until an hour later I scared the kids when I looked at them. I thought they ran because I hadn’t eaten all day and the signs were showing in my disposition, but no, they thought I was hungry and going to eat them.
“Maaaaaaaaaammmaaaaaaaaa!”
Lol.

My older brother Marcus @youroptions is an optometrist so I texted him a couple of pics to get a diagnosis.
Texts progressed thusly:

Gives a whole ne meaning to brown eye right?!
Ugh!
Hahaha!
I keep forgetting it’s there and then give myself a fright when I see my reflection. LOL.

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I nominate these funny feckers @soundwavesphoton & @meno

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