Learning to Make Decisions Without Being Influenced by Others
You probably know someone who says sorry for everything all the time. They usually say sorry for their own sorry when you bring this up with them. It really is about me.
I've put up with being a "wag" for most of my life, but aged made it harder for me to do so. I finally made up my mind to do something.
I don't remember when it started, but I do remember when I decided enough was enough. Finally, my fiancé and I chose a house.
We were happy with how things turned out. It took me years to save up for a down payment, and he also put some money away.
But something struck me during the process: my fiancé was at the centre of everything. His company thanked him when I made the first payment. That's the only company that called him. He took all the calls. It looked like I had nothing to do with this.
At first, we were just joking around about it, but then it got serious. We were officially given ownership of the home after I filled out my loan application and it was approved.
When I sent the mortgage company a thank you note, they said, "Congratulations, Brian!"
It was both funny and stupid. Still, I tried not to laugh. I got very angry. No matter how silly it sounds, I wanted to be important to the goal I worked so hard to reach.
I felt like I wasn't seen and had no control. Another person sitting next to me said that she had never seen me so mad when I started swearing.
I said I was sorry. I felt bad that I wasn't thankful. I should be happy in the end because I bought a house.
My friend told me that you don't need to say sorry. "You don't have to be thankful to still want recognition."
I now understand that I'm a sensitive person. I don't say anything. I'm not always a weakling. I know how that turned out to be. However, this wasn't the only thing that made me lose my cool.
Friends took advantage of me, bosses put too much on me, and coworkers asked for favours from me for years. I had no power. It dawned on me that I could either try to figure out what was going on or keep complaining about it.
I sat down and thought about it. Then I came up with some rules that help me get better and not give in to other people.
Even though I didn't want to change who I was as a person, I did want to change some bad social habits.