Why Forgiveness is The Greatest Indicator of Self-Love

I've devoured thought leaders' and spiritual gurus' articles, videos, and seminars in recent years. When I follow my idols, I constantly get the same message:

In every location I saw this line, forgiveness was portrayed as one of the most potent methods to bring mind, freedom, and compassion into our life. It sounds appealing and simple.

Although forgiveness opens the way to a happier and more full life, when I look at myself and my loved ones, I realise it's hard.

We know that no one can live without hurting others or having their hearts shattered, regardless of how they see forgiveness. Why not consider how forgiveness affects our well-being and healing?

Let's examine what happens before we forgive. Someone violates your limits and makes you angry, disappointed, ashamed, or sad. Last time you felt these emotions?

A coworker, acquaintance, or family member may have offended you. Your encounter made you uncomfortable, furious, sad, and deceived, right?

Society often agrees on what is offensive, demeaning, and cruel. Many believe cheating, abuse, and violence violate human dignity. Offensive borders and standards alter frequently based on personal perception.

Thus, what bothers me may not bother others. A scenario that enrages others may seem harmless to me.

My research on forgiveness shows that setting internal boundaries is not just required to forgive. Drawing our own boundaries helps us accept past experiences that shaped them.

Heacock told us that insulted or disrespected situations are opportunities to stop and learn. Instead of reacting with judgement, blame, or shame, we can stop and use the discomfort we feel when our personal boundaries are crossed to learn about ourselves. We can ask ourselves these questions when we feel wronged:

The individual who upset you has an opportunity from your experience. These people can also grow and evolve. Your attacker may have acted without considering your feelings or reflected his own sorrow and misery.

As the saying goes, “Hurt people hurt others.” Based on this remark, we realise that this is a mutual learning process and that we have a spiritual contract with those we meet.

We enter those people's lives to teach or heal them through this spiritual pact.

Think of a problem you've had with someone many times. You may try to be friends with people who consistently bring you down or have trouble apologising for your faults even if you know you're wrong.

We all have behavioural tendencies we couldn't develop before. We see these behaviours in different relationships until we learn from them.

Consider the recent emotional issues you've had with different persons and situations. If most of your negative emotions are grief, anger, and humiliation that you experience repeatedly, what does it sound like to try to learn and transform from your past?

I know from my personal experience that I am more willing to endure discomfort when I realise I can steadily reduce my biggest sources of pain and unhappiness.

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