PostsCommentsPayoutsdadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoWhat do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.DAD: What do you call a fake noodle? Dad: An Impasta. Each Day the @DadJoke Account will select the best…dadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoHe'd like to give you a "get well soon" shout-out, but he's a little horse.DAD: He'd like to give you a "get well soon" shout-out, but he's a little horse. Each Day the @DadJoke…dadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoDid you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere. Each Day the @DadJoke Account…dadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoWhy did the crab never share? Because he's shellfish.Why did the crab never share? Because he's shellfish. Each Day the @DadJoke Account will select the best…dadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoDAD, TO A SINGER: "Don’t forget a bucket." SINGER: "Why?" DAD: "To carry your tune."DAD, TO A SINGER: "Don’t forget a bucket." SINGER: "Why?" DAD: "To carry your tune." Each Day the…dadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoYou heard of that new band 1023MB? They're good but they haven't got a gig yet.You heard of that new band 1023MB? They're good but they haven't got a gig yet. Each Day the @DadJoke…dadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoWhere did the college-aged vampire like to shop? Forever 21.Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop? Forever 21. Each Day the @DadJoke Account will select the…dadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoWhat do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows. Each Day the @DadJoke Account will select…dadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoWhat did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison. Each Day the @DadJoke Account…dadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoWhy wasn't the woman happy with the velcro she bought? It was a total ripoff.Why wasn't the woman happy with the velcro she bought? It was a total ripoff. Each Day the @DadJoke Account…dadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoWhat does an angry pepper do? It gets jalapeño your face.What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalapeño your face. Dad Joke will be away on vacation for the next three…dadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoWhat does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!”What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!” Each Day the @DadJoke Account will select the best…dadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoWhen you ask a dad if they got a haircut: "No, I got them all cut!"When you ask a dad if they got a haircut: "No, I got them all cut!" Each Day the @DadJoke Account will select…dadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoWhy can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent. Each Day the @DadJoke…dadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoWhat do you call a lonely cheese? Provolone.What do you call a lonely cheese? Provolone. Each Day the @DadJoke Account will select the best user…dadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoCan February March? No, but April May!Can February March? No, but April May! Each Day the @DadJoke Account will select the best user generated…dadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoWhats Red And Smells Like White Paint? Red Paint.Each Day the @DadJoke Account will select the best user generated meme. We will also make a bi-weekly post…dadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoWhat do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea! Each Day the @DadJoke Account will select the best user…dadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoWhat do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite. Each Day the @DadJoke Account will…dadjoke (44)in #joke • 6 years agoI was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toastie. Man, they really grilled me.I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toastie. Man, they really grilled me. Each Day the @DadJoke…