"How can I be ME, if the men around me don't appreciate it?"

Hi Nomad-magus,

I have a question about men in general and the way they act.

I am sick and tired of all the idiotic men that I come across (excuse my language). They endlessly court and pursue me but as soon as I willingly respond they disappear. They don’t call as often as they did, they don’t want to meet every day... you know.

What is going on here? Isn’t it obvious that had we, women, acted “hard to get”, the men would have continued to diligently court us! Be tough with them throughout the entire relationship, then? I don’t think so!

In my first relationship I gave a lot and it came back to me and was great. In my next relationship, I gave a lot as well but was met by a humiliating attitude. I told myself that I would learn my lesson and would try not to reveal all my cards so quickly. But it is quite ironic – from one relationship to the next I feel I have no more love energies to give. And that leads to distance because I do not want to get hurt again. But on the other hand, if I do not give from myself, and remain distant, the other side may think that I am not interested and leave.

So, what to do? To be ME? For once I want that I will be me from as early as the beginning of the relationship to its end, without games and facades; and that my spouse would be himself. But my experience tells me that such a situation can’t be and there always have to be games!

The Girl

Credit: Redditors

Girl,

You have expressed yourself well. In your first relationship, you were fortunate to experience the enjoyment and the rewards that giving brings: you gave and received in return. It was a sign of the ideal situation. It was also a test that you asked for in order to become a stronger lover who understands the energetic exchange between spouses in a relationship.

In your next “test case”, however, you had to implement what you learned. Would you “fall back” in light of the cruel reality or rather would you follow the intuition that guided you from the beginning? Would you continue to act according to the basic rule in a relationship, namely: “First give to others what you want to receive for yourself”?!

You chose to close yourself and to raise shields. Therefore, it is no surprise that the relationships that you then attracted to yourself faced you time and again with the same test. This pattern will remain until you boldly choose to follow your intuition to be You.

Indeed you want to be yourself but the problem is that you place conditions on the universe. You say that you will give only if your partner gives to you first. Only then, so you say, you will be able to open up and share what you have to give.

***

TrueLove does not work like that

First and foremost you have to do the “great leap of faith” and go back to being as before – giving, providing, giving again, and again – to prove to yourself that you have really learned the lesson. Then and only then you will meet the one who will know to give to you in return. And should such a person not arrive in the first or second relationships, be sure to continue on your path and stick to your inner truth about the genuine way that energy works in a relationship. Do remind yourself that for now there is nothing out there really, no other men who belittling you or not giving back. It's only you who is relating to you.

The difference between “you” who gives now and “you” who gave in your first relationship is substantial. Now you are more self-aware and conscious about the act of giving. Now you give from a place of choice and power with full intent as a creator. Now, if you find out that your partner does not know to appreciate your giving you will have no problem in choosing to release him. You will focus on your happiness. You will ask: “am I happy”? Am I receiving love as I know I deserve?” That will be your only guideline in making decisions –

am I in joy?!

And should you choose to leave, do not torture yourself with thoughts and confusion, because you have learned your lesson, you have been acting appropriately and it is no longer about you.

Continue to give love unconditionally to the world and your TrueLove will soon show himself.