**Aging Empath** needs people to help her decide *her next step*.
www.dictionary.com/browse/larceny
Larceny definition, the wrongful taking and carrying away of the personal goods of another from his or her possession with intent to convert them to the taker's own use.
(Not grand larceny…petty larceny) in this case.
History: Long term tenant became Site Manager for a very small rental complex that was owned by the Mother of the Aging Empath. This arrangement originated early 2003. His rent was reduced in order to accommodate property management duties; specifically, collect rent, make receipts and give collected rents to the owner who then deposited it into the rental account at the bank. He also kept an eye on the becoming ancient woman…95 years at the time. All were satisfied with this agreement that lasted 3 years.
As property values began to rise and interest rates began to fall, the Site Manager decided it was in his best interest to buy his own home. Aging Empath understood his desire to own property and only advised him to NOT purchase a manufactured home because she believed manufactured homes could not hold their value, nor could they be easily refinanced after they reached a specific age. Site Manager and Aging Empath had become friendly, each supporting each other in a friendly manner, each having their respective challenges.
Site Manager purchased an older manufactured home on a small acreage parcel that also had a swimming pool, above ground. The two kept in touch, haphazardly.
A few years passed, life was getting complicated for Aging Empath and her ancient Mother…now 98 or so. Caretakers were hired to spend time with the Ancient One, still living alone in her apartment. Aging Empath was now disabled after having had a brain aneurysm, and surgical stroke that occurred during the emergency repair at a nearby teaching hospital. Oh yeah, the stroke left her disabled and somehow or somewhere, she acquired Ataxia in the left side of her body. Throughout this, Aging Empath continued, herself, to manage and upgrade through contactors the 4-plex, rent to new tenants, manage her ancient Mother and keep the money accounts balanced. Then Ancient Mother had a fall; following Ancient Mother’s recovery, Aging Empath believed it best to move Ancient Mother into her own home, about 4 miles away from the rental property.
Other major catastrophes occurred because some Empaths serve as magnets for those who lack empathy and who can be classified as sociopaths, narcissists, etc. (For future reference, Aging Empath could write books on her personal experience with such individuals – more important, however, is how she healed from such interactions by becoming a total recluse…but let us stick to the story at hand.
OK, fate brought Site Manager and Aging Empath together again since Aging Empath crossed paths with a Creep who manipulated her into letting her personal residence go into foreclosure. (This Creep was a doctor, who lied to her, knowing she trusted him completely.) Aging Empath has a theory about why Empaths are attracted to Narcissists, based on a careful examination of her life history, feelings and sleep dreams. No one in Mental Health Sciences - Psychoanalysts, Psychiatrists, Sociologists, Social Workers, and so forth have a clue of the true, precise reason empaths get ensnared by individuals lacking empathy – Narcissists, specifically. But I digress.
Again, fate brought Site Manager and Aging Empath together. Having been evicted from her own home, along with Ancient Mother, now 103 years old, Aging Empath had to take residence in the 4-plex. Since finances were totally disheveled, a tenant needed to be evicted so that Ancient Mother and Aging Empath could have a roof over their heads. Life for Aging Empath and Ancient Mother went from traumatic to disastrous until Ancient Mother left this planet 30 days before turning 107 years. Although Aging Empath cared for her beloved Mother until the last year, it became exceedingly difficult when during the night Ancient Mother got out of bed to pee and fell, needing assistance from her aging, handicapped daughter, who eventually fell herself trying to roust her Mother from the floor.
Ancient Mother was moved to a private placement since there were inadequate funds to place her in a proper facility. And Aging Empath could write another long non-fiction book on aging, care of the aging and dying…especially since Aging Empath was in her Mother’s bed making her comfortable and helping Ancient Mother cross to the Other Side by reassuring her that she would be happy when she left this planet. Aging Empath heard her Mother let out her last breath; a poignant moment that brings tears to Aging Empath’s eyes. And yes, there is a story to share on the night before the passing, the night after the passing and the two to three weeks after Ancient Mother left this planet, including dreams
Must not get side-tracked again! Property values were high again, so Site Manager decided he would capture his profits on his manufactured home. Long story short, he lost the expected profit when the appraisal came in significantly below sale price. After much angst he realized he needed to get out from under his property and the yearly diminishing value, considering the property was already 16 years old. In the meantime, Aging Empath was a basket case. The haphazard friends had been talking and Site Manager saw an opportunity, knowing Aging Empath was handicapped and over her head with grief and disorganization. Aging Empath was happy for a trusted friend to take over lawn mowing and light managerial chores for reduced rent; actually she was greatly relieved. All went well the first 4-5 months, even though weather was late fall; Bob the Site Manager and friend moved her upstairs and organized the laundry room, etc. By spring time, mowing, tree and bush trimming were needed. All three units were rented so life just moved along with no problems. Bob was patient with the Aging Empath, realizing she was still grieving and occasionally forgetful. Part of the original agreement was that Bob would assist Aging Empath get her previous household possessions organized, sold, or given away. But an odd thing happened one day when Bob had been working alone, trying to make more space on kitchen counters. A fragile, antique lamp was moved to a box in the dining room, placed touching a wall. A few days later, Aging Empath decided to move it back to the kitchen for the light. When she picked the lamp up, the glass shade fell into 3 pieces. When asked what happened, Bob cleverly made a comment about the age of the lamp and side stepped the incident. Aging Empath gave him the benefit of doubt and let it slide. She thought the better solution would have been for Bob to just say the truth; that it got away from him, he bumped it, breaking the glass shade and it broke. Instead, he propped it up next to a wall. She would have thought “no big deal…it was old and on its’ last legs anyway.” This minor incident sent up a little yellow flag to Aging Empath.
Next, when Bob was given the information on the neighbor/tenants, he seemed especially delighted that they too, as he was, were employed by the Navy. As weeks went by, Aging Empath noticed that Bob was overly solicitous, even pandering, assuring her that he always had her back, that he was always available when she needed help.
In the meantime, in his reduced rent spacious apartment he filled up two of his bedrooms with his household furniture, including a freezer, washer and dryer, etc. Aging Empath was still paying more than $160/month for her off site storage locker so she felt he should empty out one bedroom for her stuff. Bob, the hired employee-site manager assured her that when she was ready to exit her storage, he’d move his belongings out.
In the meantime, Aging Empath had begun to dislike or not trust Bob. She tried to determine what had changed, but bottom line, she felt he was playing her.
She started trying to encourage him to look around for other opportunities or rentals because she was unclear about staying. More than a year had passed since her Mother’s death, maybe it was time to move on. Nothing budged Bob. He had found his niche and he had dug himself in good.
She said she needed to get her belongings out of storage and was told by Bob that that offer was no longer on the table. He offered to buy, at his expense, a storage unit to be placed onsite for her to move her things into. (Right! So she could stand outside in the cold and sort her belongings into save or pitch boxes.)
In the meantime, one of the Navy tenants started putting moves on Aging Empath. He, half her age, propositioned her. Yes, she has the text messages on her cell! A quiet, perfectly polite and civil young man suddenly turns into a Don Juan. She was stunned, and truly mystified…and being an empath she did not want to hurt his feelings. He wanted her to meet him outside on their connecting deck, separated by a locked gate. Boldly, she went out there into the pitch black night. He was drunk…she had no idea he was a drinker. He approached her rather sheepishly and put his arms around her. Aging Empath had plenty of experience with men and boys during her many former years, so she did not feel threatened or scared by being put into such an awkward situation. She simply did not want to hurt his fragile ego – after all, if he could not connect with a single woman his age something was wrong; he certainly was not unattractive, even though 20-30 pounds overweight, yet solid.
She went inside and got a text from Bob….or maybe she texted Bob. So Bob said something about Kris’ broken window. It was the first she had heard of it…and a torn screen in Kris’ bedroom. How and why was Bob suddenly in the middle of this? She texted Bob back, asking him if he put Kris up to “this”. Bob just said that he believed Kris was interested in her. WHAT? So now they were buddy buddies?? Then Bob asked Aging Empath if she was flattered. She replied “no, but at least I realize I’m not dead.” Bob then said Kris told him that he was going to invite her over. Again, she texted Bob asking him what his role was in all this bizarre behavior. (Especially since Kris said he did not break the window and that he did not know how it happened.)
Another odd incident about Bob that came to Empath’s attention is the following. (Clearly Bob has mental issues that he is unaware of.) Last summer, Bob told her that Khoi’s girlfriend went back to Korea…to which Empath replied, “oh, that’s too bad, I’m sure it won’t be long before he finds a new girlfriend.” Then Bob suggested that Khoi was now available! Then Bob says, “I know you like him.”
Huh? That little shrimp who is likely not out of his 20’s? She liked him as a tenant and as a young, bright kid, sure. But being friendly does not imply seeing him as a lover! Good God! Go see a Shrink, Bob. First the 22 year old kid and then the 35 year old boy/man?
What was going on here – Bob projecting his fantasies on the landlady or trying to act like a pimp?
Bob’s first year was up; she knew she could not put up with being played another year…so she evicted him.
This story just keeps growing and Aging Empath is getting tired of it. She needs to cut to the chase. Bottom line, Bob was protecting the Navy Buds, not the Elderly, handicapped Woman. Let’s address the broken window in Kris’ apartment. The replacement window is $750. There is no record of a damage deposit. Bob tried his utmost to convince elderly Aging Empath that the sun’s heat broke the window. She examined the window as Bob sloppily and hurriedly taped it up. She pointed out the small chip in the glass, to which Bob ignored and did not comment on. Aging Empath knew there was foul play going on but she could not put the pieces together…so she evicted Bob, who was surprised and very angry. She told Bob that she was within her 20 day right to give notice since there was no written contract and he was on a month to month verbal agreement. A few days later Kris gave notice that he would be leaving by mid-November, but he paid a full month’s rent since he may have missed the 20 day notice window. Chris stated he had found a cheaper place to rent due to needs required by hardship of his parents. (This was the same reason Empath gave to Bob for needing his space.) The other renter, also in the Navy gave notice that he would be out the end of December. This was not totally unexpected; he had a new girlfriend and wanted to move to Gig Harbor.
It took a few days for Aging Empath to put all the pieces together, but the following is what she thinks happened.
Bob loves fires and wanted to have a bon fire around the 4th of July, for all tenants. Khoi and his roommate had a bunch of fireworks that they began lighting before the 4th. They were loud and erratic…some perhaps misfired and one shot in unpredictable directions, near Empath’s upper deck. The next day, Aging Empath asked Bob to tell the guys to set off their fireworks down on Beach Drive where Puget Sound could absorb the damage.
The bon fire was a hit, Bob and Kris stayed the longest, after midnight. Aging Empath turned in about 10:30 PM. She sleeps with her cell on a table near her bed. She received two texts after 1 AM, from Kris. These were meant for Bob it seemed, not for her. The next day Empath asked Bob about the texts from Kris who had been searching for a file. The 2nd text said, let’s do it! Bob either did not reply to the enquiry or said something to put Aging Empath’s mind at ease.
One thing I have not mentioned are the 10 silver eagle coins Aging Empath had hidden downstairs in the out of reach kitchen cabinets. She lived there after she could no longer care for Ancient Mother and with all the ongoing stress in her life, Aging Empath spaced out the fact that she no longer had them in her possession. Clearly Bob believed she had no recall of them either, because once he had moved out and Aging Empath saw the stored paper food containers on lower kitchen shelves; just to be sure, Aging Empath climbed up top and the coins were gone.
So this is Aging Empath’s conclusion…first about Bob. Bob bragged several times to her about how he had gleaned job security at work by making himself indispensable. People depend on him, he states. OK, that is legal and likely. But here are the issues to understand about Bob. He is from Kentucky, I believe. His father was a drunk; both parents were in poor health. As soon as Bob was old enough to enlist, he was gone – never to return. His mother remarried multiple times after divorcing Bob’s father. Bob has step and half siblings. Bob never learned about or felt love from his parental home; he is not empathetic. Some people have no need to understand themselves and change certain behaviors in themselves that they don’t like. In reality, most of mankind seems to operate this way. Bob certainly has average I.Q. but he thinks he is smarter than he is. He understands how wretched his childhood was and the toll it’s taken on him. However, he has no motivation to do anything about it. Therefore, he accepts himself and the world as it is. He bends his character to get what he wants, without trying to change his character. Bob is fat, lazy and does absolutely nothing to care for his health or his appearance. He tries to buy love from young, pretty females by acting like a Sugar Daddy….fairly common practice these days. However, in order to gain friends (Navy Buds) he takes care of them…screw the Landlady! As a matter of fact, Aging Empath is wondering if these Navy guys had a bet amongst themselves about who could fuck the Old Landlady. Bob is the Ring Leader…needing thrills and just becoming a dirty old man. She has absolutely no respect for him. Bob is not trustworthy nor is he loyal; in spite of his pandering, he manipulates people for fulfillment of his needs. He is dishonest and unfeeling. Yes, the world is full of such people…and we try our utmost to keep people like Bob out of our lives.
Aging Empath believes one of the other tenants accidently broke the window shooting off fireworks just before the 4th of July; he lives in Apartment C; Kris in D, Bob in B…all were trying to cover for one another. Bob is the likely Ring Leader, trying desperately to buy loyalty, friendship and acceptance from his navy peers. Here is the quandary: should Aging Empath allow Bob’s unfortunate childhood sway her wish to receive fair compensation for the broken window and stolen silver? Is this too slim a case to attempt compensation? Should Bob be held accountable for his poor decision making skills?
What’s your vote?
Life is sad and difficult for most of mankind, whether we choose to believe this or not.
Does Aging Empath press charges, ruining Bob’s security clearance, forgive and forget, or ask for realistic compensation? Bob is lying low…no attempt to contact Aging Empath …just hoping it will all just blow over. She is not fond of cowards or little boys in bodies of men.
After thoughts:
Friends, lovers, husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, so on and so forth are just human. We all disappoint each other not once but usually multiple times. There is no perfection in humanity; there is only forgiveness or acceptance. Those that cannot either accept or forgive are the unhappy ones. These are the humans who get stuck in themselves, with no way out of their unhappiness or misery.
Fortunately, I understand the circumstances in this specific situation and why “friends” behave the way they do. There were no deep feelings involved, nor were there significant expenses lost. Having rental property is always a crap shoot and there are good reasons to hire assistance from an established management company – rather than to take risks with the luck of the draw.
These days, crime, fraud and larceny are rampant; this is our new world. The days of “Father Knows Best”, “Ozzie and Harriet” or “Lassie Come Home” are forever gone, along with the trusting, care-free days of throwing caution to the wind.
I am relieved and pleased that I never must see, befriend or listen to Bob ever again. In his own way, he helped me become a stronger and more reliable woman. I wish him no harm.
To those of you who took this emotional ride with me to the conclusion, thank you. I did want to get something into Steemit and since I really dislike Face Book and avoided it forever, I’m looking forward to a presence here because I have many feelings and much personal growth to share if anyone is interested or just curious. I am Bella Krinkle and I hope we meet again.
Afterthoughts on After Thoughts:
I do my best thinking when I’m alone and driving 45-50 miles to a destination. Today I needed to travel such a distance, and found myself wondering over and over in my mind why I felt such relief to have Bob gone, out of my life. The feeling is difficult to describe. I never truly liked Bob, but I did trust him; I think it was more a feeling of tolerating him and I considered him an employee of sorts, or a comrade; loyalty goes a long way when a single female. Certainly I was aware of some of Bob’s foibles, but I believed those to be outside of our business relationship and just his personal affairs. Everyone deserves personal privacy I thought. I knew he had problems with women who he believed to be attracted to him, yet who shunned him when he attempted to get closer. OK, that’s Delusional Thinking at its’ worst…but he moved on and took a fancy towards other young, pretty women. In fact he was a sugar daddy to a 25+- year old who played him like a fiddle. I’m not sure how many 100’s or even 1000’s she took from him while playing him along for the eventual roll in the hay that of course never transpired. I did pointed out to him that he was simply being used by her. After a couple years he began to see the light…but only during early 2017. So when I heard him masturbating downstairs in his apartment, I thought she was the object of his fantasies. It was rather yucky, but there was nothing I could do or say. I started to let him know that I could hear him snoring; older apartments have thin walls! He was unaware of this reality and somewhat surprised.
So, not having the masturbating, snoring tenant was certainly a relief, but there was something simply cleansing to have him gone. Thinking, thinking, thinking made me dig deeper into this very confusing picture of the timing of the broken window, the misdirected text messages, my original use of the word pandering in attempting to describe his behavior towards me. As in pandering to my needs?
Pander | Definition of Pander by Merriam-Webster
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pander
Dec 1, 2017 - Definition of pander. 1 a : a go-between in love intrigues. b : pimp. 2 : someone who caters to or exploits the weaknesses of others.
Then I remembered the appliance repair man that Bob said wanted to take me out to dinner…again, a good 25-30 years my junior. When I met the Repairman to give payment he was all dressed up, very courteous, almost sweet. I told myself that this young man must have seen me as nonthreatening and that he needed practice taking a female out to dinner at a decent restaurant. I gently declined and gave it no further thought.
Suddenly, I realized Bob was reaching further than simply wanting to be accepted by the Navy guys for friendship. Bob was playing me and all these young men to fuel his sexual fantasies. It’s doubtful that they knew the truth, especially the kid in Unit C, whom I loaned a cookbook to when the two housemates in C moved in. I also gave a cooking box of scones to the new girlfriend who moved in after the first housemate moved out. To Bob, these were symbols of lust to verify my “attraction to the bright, immature kid with a brain of a 40 year old and the emotional maturity of a fifteen year old. No, Bob was projecting his sexual fantasies onto all of us then masturbating when he returned from work.
I must rethink this entire story. Thanks to Bob, I lost two good tenants who would likely have rented each another year if Bob had not convinced them that I desired each of them! Both rentals are vacant and Bob has removed his Face Book page. It’s the day before New Year Eve and here I sit, alone, wondering how I am the one holding the bag. Disappointed with myself for trusting Bob because I seemingly had no other options. We all need friends and several friends, to all lookout for each other. Being a loner is not a good idea; it’s this truism “DO NOT REMAIN A LONER’ that I will take away from this lesson and focus on my New Year resolution instead of wanting revenge. See how difficult it is to learn everything we need to learn before we can realistically believe that we can take care of ourselves? We need longer lifespans, don’t we?
I’m going to move now to my Stairmaster to walk off some of my stress, dinner and wine before falling into, hopefully, a deep slumber. More tomorrow.
What would you do??
Happy New Year. 9:24 PM 12/30/2017.
Tomorrow I’ll review this saga, then decide if I will submit this as my introduction to Steemit. Likely not because I do not have a recent photo of myself and clearly it’s not the coveted, superficial intro that is popular on Steemit.