Taking the piss out of BOOZE and ALCOHOL culture vol. 1 Liquor Store SLOGANS

Hi. I live in Calgary, Alberta. There is a LIQUOR store on every corner. BOOZE culture is alive and thriving here.
I find it annoying and so have created names and slogans to help 'de-mythologize' the BOOZE cult that exists. I am not a prohibitionist - not at all. But the POWER the BOOZE INDUSTRY has in my culture as the only recreational drug is TOO MUCH.
I hope you find them funny.

This all started out with a particular Liquor Store named "Solo Liquor" of which I take particular offense. It is a pathetic and tragic name for a BOOZE store especially as drinking alone is the clearest sign of Alcoholism. And thus this merriment began with a friend via SMS to make up equally pathetic SLOGANS for it. Other Liquor Stores are equally pathetic and are/will be included.

SOLO LIQUOR - When your misery is just too much to share with other people.

SOLO LIQUOR - Once you realize we are all alone you might as well keep it to yourself.

SOLO LIQUOR - Here for you when nobody else is.

SOLO LIQUOR - Be the tragedy you see on TV.

SOLO LIQUOR - Because you know you sew what you low.

SOLO LIQUOR - Life should end as it began - alone and curled up in a fetal position drenched in fluid.

OLYMPIA LIQUOR - For the fallen god within all of us.

OLYMPIA LIQUOR - Always within a 100 m dash of home.

OLYMPIA LIQUOR - Pushing the limits of the immortality you pretend to have.

OLYMPIA LIQUOR - Join the pantheon of heroes from the mount.

I hope you are inspired to make your own funny slogans and help d-myth this industry once and for ever.

:)