You have the best backyard, mine just has... oh wait that is the neighbours, their backyard sucks my lack of a backyard is better. You should definitely train the crows to sit on your shoulders while you go shopping and peck at everyone as they approach, maybe they will make you the guardian of nuts. You can battle the squirrels, only after you have been shrunk down of course else it would be unfair. Mmmm... maybe they were summoning a cronut.

!gifbot The crow