Anxiety does funny things.

There's an amazing article I read not too long ago, entitled "Laziness Does Not Exist." The link is just below:

https://medium.com/@dr_eprice/laziness-does-not-exist-3af27e312d01

In the article, the author details all sorts of different behaviors that are seen as lazy, but are really the product of something else. In my case, as is happening to me right now, it's due to anxiety. I ask you to set your judgment aside and hear me out.

I have a whole list of things that need to be done today. I need to get to the post office before they get rid of a package of mine. I need to pick up my CSA share. I need to buy a few other things to go with those vegetables (why can't produce last as long as processed food? LOL). There's housekeeping I've put off for 2 weeks. And I need to fit in exercise as well.

I'm also, perhaps because of this list, having a night of insomnia. If I get up right now, I can be at my favorite trail just as the sun comes up. Then I'd probably finish in time to drive to the pharmacy for my prescription, then 30+ minutes to the grocery store, and make it back within the 2-hour window my post office is open. I might as well, at this point.

But the idea of putting forth all that effort, when I'm as tired as I am, is daunting. So my alternative is to take a pill, sleep til early afternoon (I work night shift, so it's not like I'm throwing off my schedule by day sleeping), then only get a couple of those tasks done.

The average person would not be going over and over this the way I am. Anxiety expends a lot of energy on useless stuff! And I'm not trying to say we shouldn't try to push past it if we can. But that article has helped me to observe these patterns in myself. I grew up being labelled "lazy," and looking back, I can see how so many of those things I did (or didn't do) we're from anxiety or some other issue.

The article explains it all far more eloquently than me. I guess what I'm getting at is in cases like these, we need to give ourselves some kindness. Now excuse me while I try to practice what I preach.