BEASTLY TALES

COLD SNAP

Strange things went on in Canada’s North West.
A wide-open area, a real treasure chest.
Prospectors moiled for gold in many different forms.
Just staying alive outstripped usual norms.
The Northern Lights flickered and filmed in the sky
A kaleidoscope of colours, waving goodbye.
The wide-open tundra covered in snow,
You’re happy to arrive then sorry to go.

Orville McGinty had come to pan for gold,
Then the rivers had frozen, it was mighty cold.
“I barely found enough to cover expenses.”
So he said, by way of defences.
“Next season, I’ll give it another try,”
“Got nothing better to do, don’t know why.”
Orville, on his knees, was using his siever
He had then found another moiler in the river,
“He wasn’t saying much, on account he was dozing,”
“But then I realized that he was frozen!”
“I didn’t know quite what to do with him,”
“He looked rather good, with his very neat trim.”
“So I left him there, in his artistic shape,”
“Next spring, when he thaws, people can gape.”
“Did he have any gold in pocket or purse?”
“You could have mined him, it could have been worse!”

“Did you hear about the miner who fell?”
“Right into his mine shaft, it must have been hell!”
“It was ice on the ladder rungs that made him slip.”
“From a barrel of water, that earlier did tip.”
“As it trickled down, it immediately froze.”
“Causing that miner to fall on his nose.”

“Old Pickaxe Pete was found in his hut,”
“His fire had been lit, but there was a ‘but’.”
“But his window and door had been left open.”
“His spread arms and legs showed he’d been groping,”
“In a vain effort to shut them right up!”
“But the intense cold had beat him before he could sup.”
“So he was frozen, then and there, on the spot!”
“Missing out on his dinner stewing in the pot.”
“They tried to fit him into a 6 x 3 coffin,”
“But, with arms and legs spread, wouldn’t be often,”
“In fact never, unless he thawed out,”
“Then the potential smell left them in no doubt,”
“That they should resort to a trusty hand-saw,”
“To lop off those extended limbs, so they could store,”
“The cadaver comfortably in that box,”
“And seal it up well, with straps and locks.”

Many other bizarre stories haunt Canada’s North West.
A few given here, perhaps the best!
Makes one think, apropos cold.
To stay on the cautious side, not so bold!