BEASTLY TALES

HOW OTTO MET FRITZ

Otto liked Fritz at first sight,
It was like looking in the mirror at night,
A fuzzy image, very similar to Otto’s frame,
And from that moment on, firm friends they became.
They did not meet in their home country, Bavaria.
But at a football game in Sydney, certainly scarier.
They were lining up at the beer stand,
Both corpulent figures in Lederhosen grand.
Fritz looked at Otto thinking, “There stands me.”
Otto looked at Fritz wondering, “There me be.”
They both seemed to have the same taste,
They both had a 130cm waist.
To avoid wasting time one could buy the beer,
The other the hot dogs, leaving them freer,
To watch more of the savage football game,
Cheering on grievous bodily harm, just the same.

The only difference between them was the hair,
Fritz had Teutonic straw colour, Otto’s wasn’t there.
Yes Otto was almost totally bald,
For many years “Nude Nut” he had been called.
So, there developed a bond between Otto and Fritz.
Fritz liked Otto, Otto liked Fritz to bits.
Otto loved to say, “People have no doubts,”
“When they see us they know we are both silly Krauts.”
Especially, if that day, they had chosen,
To both wear leather shorts, Lederhosen.

Of course, they both belonged to the German club.
Their area was a Teutonic German Hub.
The Katzenjammers, Schieskophs lived near,
It was most Germanic not to live far from beer.
There were the Goerings and Von Trapps too,
All mixing together, in a Teutonic stew.
They’d gather together for sausage and sauerkraut,
Never leaving one in the slightest doubt,
That, when it came to sausage, it was best, not worst,
The best obtainable, not the worst wurst.

So such is the saga of Fritz and Otto,
Their lives intertwined by their drinking motto
“Eins, Zwei, Drei, Vier, lift your glasses, drink your beer!”
Yes, Otto and Fritz enjoyed the glass of good cheer!