BEASTLY TALES

OTTO’S REVENGE

“You might recall my visit to the doctor’s surgery,”
“It was, all true, I don’t want to commit perjury.”
So said our strange friend, Otto Clipzinger,
It was an exceptional account, a real Humdinger.
“I came away from seeing that quack,”
“As though the entire medical fraternity was on my back,”
“They inflicted such stringent medical restrictions,”
“On my usual sound culinary convictions,”
“I used to dress up in my finest frippery,”
“And go regularly to the fish and chippery,”
“There I’d have a lovely meal,”
“A real fry-up with curb appeal.”
“And to finish-off, sitting in my car,”
“A delicious enticing, deep-fried Mars Bar!”
“Those were the days, myself I can hardly contain,”
“As such delights pass, for review, through my brain.”

Now Otto’s predilection for such rich food,
Could be considered by some to be disgustingly rude.
But his antecedents from the Northern Hemisphere came.
And such heritage could contribute to a genetic blame.
Originating from buttery cakes, roasted items in grease,
Cheesy items, such as fondues, huge thick pies with peas.

Now Otto recalled the humiliation,
As he approached the weighing station,
The doctor had compared him to a whale!
Such a thing would never, ever fail,
To cause a chap to feel a lesser person,
It was a touchy point, not to converse on.
Otto thought, “I shall have my revenge!”
A revenge that will be as sturdy and solid as Stone Henge.”
“I shall now break my pledge,”
“To only dine on rice and Veg.”
“I will make the rice into a risotto,”
“And have each rice grain with butter go blotto.”
“I’ll change steamed fish to double deep fried,”
“And have mountains of chips on the side.”
“Instead of just a salad with lots of fruit,”
“I’ll wrap it in Tiramisu, real beaut.”
“I’ll have ever so much fun,”
“Eating, between meals, a sticky bun!”
“How could this, be REVENGE, I hear you ask,”
“That’s easy. It’s because I can take the doctor to task.”
“For failing to cure me, to correct the condition,”
“Caused by my ever-so gluttonous nutrition.”
“He won’t know that I cheated on my diet,”
“Mainly because I’ll keep ever so quiet.”
“I’ll confound medical science in the process,”
“They’ll stretch their heads over lack of success.”
“And as I’ve been fat all my life,”
“I can be happy with my fork and knife.”
“The doctor will lose face with his failed diagnosis.”
“The medical community confused with their prognosis.”
“I’ll show this doctor to be a MOUNTEBANK.”
“A clown, a charleton, of itinerant rank.”

The Doctor’s waiting room had a Suggestion Box,
Now, the Doctors would be in for some Otto shocks.
Otto’s note to his Doctor sounded really pissed.
Suggesting if the Doctor might be a contortionist!