BEASTLY TALES

THE ARTIST

Leroy would paint almost anything,
Anything that had an income to bring.
But being neither crude nor rude,
He declined to paint a figure nude
He said to himself, “I’m a decent chap”,
“So I’ll avoid any possible mishap”,
“That might occur with anything lewd”
“Especially if I pained a nude”.

Leroy went down to the beach one day,
He settled himself in a most pretty bay.
He set up his easel and a canvas too,
And squirted on his palette all the paint goo.
A yacht with a lovely red sail,
Looked to be the most perfect scale,
To fit into his painting of the cove,
With plenty of sunshine from above.

He was working away with enthusiasm,
When he heard a call from a chasm,
In the cliff to his left,
From a high up cliffy cleft.
It seemed to be from a damsel in distress,
Oh, what a dilemma, what a mess,
Leroy put his painting brush down,
And wearing a somewhat perplexed frown,
Went to discover the cause of the commotion.
He headed off down to the ocean,
When he got to the chasm,
His heart was in a spasm,
He didn’t know what to expect,
But nothing did he detect.
He found it was waves pushing air into a blow hole,
No damsel in distress; misinterpreted his role.

Leroy had an attempt at forgery too.
Copying masterpieces, any would do.
He soon had a Gauguin, a Van Gough and a Rembrandt,
He tried to sell them to anyone, even an aunt,
Of course, he didn’t try to sell them at a high price,
Although the price for an original would have been nice.
But eventually, he tired of the game,
And gave forgery up to avoid further blame.

Now he thought modern art he might try,
He wondered if he could do it, whether people would buy.
Splashing paint at the canvas with a brush,
He soon created a multi-hued slush,
Which hardly looked like anything at all,
Nothing, at least, that wouldn’t appal!
Then he came up with a stupendous concept,
He would paint nothing! At such he was very adept.
Yes he would sell blank canvases in an art shop.
People would be sure to see them and stop,
And wonder at this new contemporary art,
Being thrilled to their very heart,
Some of this genius we just must buy,
It must be an artist’s image of sky,
Or perhaps an alto ego impression,
Or an impressionists view of confession.
Whatever it is, I must have one now,
And we think this clever artist should take a bow!