WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? Repent! Quit your Job! Slack off! THE WORLD ENDS TOMORROW AND YOU MAY DIE

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It should be painfully obvious by now that the world as we know it won't last too damn much longer. And what are you doing about it? Going to work or school, coming home, goofing around. What will happen to your routine when all the shit comes down on us at once? Don't you feel responsible for trying to help this endangered planet?

No? Good. The fact is, it's too late. There isn't a god-damned thing you as an individual can do about eco-disaster, nuclear death, overpopulation and so on. Things are going to Hell on a fast train and about the only thing you, or anyone else besides the Rockefellers, can do about it is to just sit back and watch the show.

But remember - the End of the World may be much worse and take much longer than you thought. The mere act of sitting at home watching everything fall apart on your TV may be too much for even the stoutest brains to take. In fact, the more alert and intelligent you are, the quicker you'll likely be driven to suicide by the sheer hideousness of what you'll be seing.

WILL YOU BE READY?
WILL YOU STILL BE SANE ENOUGH TO LAUGH WHEN "THAT WHICH MUST COME TO PASS," COMES TO PASS?
WILL YOU EVER GET SLACK??

ARISE SUBGENIUS