It's easy to become too emotional and when you get sucked by this overwhelmimg feeling it is hard to get away.
I have been through those dilemmas and wanderings, the realisation that egocentrism is almost drowning us, money, material goods, good looks, vanity... And for all that we forget how to live, how to respect, how to build a world of caring. I can sympathize with the frustration and the painting speaks all your worries very eloquently. (I just need to come back and see it again when I 'll be on my computer, phone screens don't help appreciate the details in people's work)
Our focus determines our reality....That works on a large scale, but also individually. Individual focus, if grouped together, can become large scale focus.
But, is creating a painting filled with misery or pain, and everything that is associated with it, what I want as my focus, my children's, or anyone's for that matter?
Was that very much different from the other kinds of "madness" I described above?
Was anything about it revolutionary?
Perhaps the idea f the 3 stages, as this is only stage 1. My Furies trilogy is also something of that sort.
The focus therefore then shifts to the development...
Just some additional musings. :)