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You need to feel responsible if you want to change things.
This means that if you want to be able to make an positive change in the lives of apespel with special needs or children in general you need to decide that nothing ever goes wrong because of the adult or child. It is always your fault. It can never be the person´s fault, just like it can never be anybody else´s fault if you have a problem. The reason that this is important is that it is only if it is my fault that it is possible for me to make changes. This means that we do not have unmotivated people with special needs, we only have staff and parents who are not very good at motivating. And there are no naughty or oppositional kids or adults, only staff and parents who are not very good at getting a yes. By adapting this principle in everyday life we are able to improve the lives of people with special needs and families in general.
You need to be in control of yourself in order to entrust yourself to somebody else.
As staff or parents we often believe that we need to control people with special needs and our children. We are afraid to loose control. Often we try to gain control over the child or adult, sometimes even using force. The problem is that both we and the child or adult looses some control in situations characterised by dominance, discipline or force. Only if the child or adult has full self-control she is able to do what’s expected of her. This mens that every school or care service, and even family, must work towards maximising the self-control of people with special needs.