🍌 Appealing a judge's decision on peels 🍌
P.O. Tassium is our beleagured, overworked publisher of the Banana Memos. He's also the conflict resolution specialist when bananas have trouble getting along, and he's the fact checker on staff. Not that most of the Bunch care about facts; we just tell it like we see it. "Tassium," as we call him, keeps us all in line.
Roxana Bananamon is a busy mom trying to get her nutritionist career off the ground. Her mind races at a thousand miles a minute, to the point where she sometimes doesn't make much sense.
Professor Bananington is very opinionated and tends to rant. But he's part of the Bunch and we love 'im.
I have a breaking news story to pass along. The Bananas On Nutrition Group (BONG) plans to appeal a judge’s ruling that banana peels are considered ‘litter’ or ‘garbage.’
A spokesbanana for BONG said, “Banana peels are fully compostable and part of the plant growing cycle. Thus, it clearly stands to reason that peels are NOT ‘garbage.’ Our group demands that the judge rescind her pronouncement.”
If there is a part of the banana that can be recycled back into the earth, addin' in nutrients to the soil and helpin' to grow even MORE nutritious bananas, why would some dang fool judge make a ruling like this?! Don’t even get me started.
I support BONG one hundred percent. No, make that one hundred and ten percent. I support BONG and the good work they’re doin' on behalf of Earth and bananas everywhere!
Um, yes. Thank you for your input, Roxana. I know you feel passionately about bananas and nutrition.
The Bananas' voice must be heard!
Folks, if you feel as the Banana Collective and BONG do on this issue, please show your support by commenting, upvoting and resteeming.
You could also contact your legislators, requesting
demanding
that banana peels be considered a valuable part of Nature's processes.
Call it "peels" or "compost," but #respecttheskin.
Tassium, over and out.
@bananamemos
Just who are the Banana Collective, and why are they writing memos?
Steemit, as explained by a teenager
A haiku for world-wide independence
Sir Bananington rants about apples
Truther Red Peel -- Just say NO to banks
I'm outraged by the judge's ruling. I have started my legal research, so I can file an Amicus Curiae brief in support of BONG’s position. I will update on my progress.
Now THAT's the kind of pro-active support the Banana Collective is looking for!
Way to go, @emergehealthier!
Here's a snack for you:
Thank you P.O. Tassium, for the nutritious snack. It gave the energy I needed to outline my first legal argument and inspired an alternative approach that I will be working on! I was hoping to enlist the help of Truther Red Peel because of his superior ability to uncover facts.
My initial strategy is…
Determine if the judge holds a grudge or bias against bananas. This will require a background check into the judge’s past. I believe it is possible that the judge bought into The Greatest Drug Hoax of All Time. If we can establish that the judge once smoked banana peels then we can argue bias. Any claims by the judge as to the fact that s/he didn't inhale are irrelevant.
The judge’s taste in music will also be investigated. If we can show the judge listened to or sang Donavon’s “Mellow Yellow;” we can imply bias. The song was believed to be about smoking banana peels. IT’S NOT.
Establishing bias can result in the ruling being overturned, and the matter sent back to the lower court for a new hearing with a new judge.
I am off to work on my alternative argument. I may require additional help from other members of the Banana Collective, to bring me up to speed on facts that will strengthen my argument.
Greetings, @emergehealthier. As the publisher of this collective blog, I must commend you on your research, ingenuity, and grasp of the facts.
Hold on a minute, Tassium. There is much more going on here than meets the eye. @emergehealthier is spoutin' some truth here.
You gotta ask yourself the question: Why would a judge rule that banana peels are "garbage," when anyone in their right mind knows they're compost? This excellent Steemian is on to something! And she has uncovered a 'red peel' that will take us all down a lo-oong rabbit hole.
First off, let's talk about the judge: Dolores Susan Lawson. Her initials, DSL, are, in fact, LSD is reverse. Her uncle was a student at Harvard University at the time of Timothy Leary's experiments with LSD, and wrote his master's thesis on Aldous Huxley's book, "Crome Yellow." Huxley being a noted LSD user, see? Then we see the term "Yellow" surface again in the song uncovered by @emergehealthier, "Mellow Yellow." Which was the song chosen by our judge, Ms. DSL, for her wedding dance song in 1983.
She later claimed that "mellow yellow" meant something personal between her and her husband, but since this is a family blog, I'm not goin' to go into that here. There is a whole lot of nefarious, tangled threads here... all clearly exposing the judge as a long-time psychedelic drug user who, thwarted in her desire to get high off of banana peels, developed a prejudice against the King of Fruits and is using her position to keep bananas down!
We, the Banana Collective, will not allow this to happen! We invite all Steemians, nay, all humans to join with us and
Wow, Truther Red Peel! I knew you were the banana for the job. I'm impressed with your ability to quickly uncover the facts necessary to make a bias argument.
When I combine this with my alternative argument,desecration of remains, and factual information about alternative uses of banana peels, this will be one powerful Amici Curiae brief!
Here is an overview of the desecration of remains argument.
The ruling violates the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment and applies to the State under the Fourteenth Amendment’s Equal Protection Clause. In Wolf v. Rose Hill Cemetery Ass’n, 832 P.2d 1007 (Colo. Ct. App. 1991)(hereinafter Wolf) the court ruled that in cases of disputes over remains "’neutral principles of law,’ independent of ecclesiastical doctrine, while respecting the free exercise rights of members of a religious association.” Id.
To apply Wolf, I first need to establish the fact that the banana peel is the remains of a banana that valiantly offered up its life for the nutritional well being of humankind! Thus, banana peels should be held in the highest esteem and entitled to a burial fitting for a hero! I’m sure once I learn more about the Banana culture and traditions, I can craft a solid argument that Wolf, is applicable.
Then the judge must give equitable consideration to “[t]he intent of the decedent and wishes of the surviving spouse or next of kin.” Ibid. I am sure that research will show that there was no testimony by the surviving spouse or next of kin. Which would mean the that the judge imposed her own views on the value of bananas to the world and humankind. We NOW KNOW that Judge Dolores Susan Lawson views are anti-banana!
@emergehealthier, you are (1) clearly brilliant and (2) clearly one of the most pro-banana humans we have ever come across.
We are 100% behind both of your remedies for this egregious vilification of banana coverings. We might even like your "desecration of remains" argument more than the "proven anti-banana bias" argument, though together, they are sure to not only sway popular opinion but also to change the course of legal rulings in perpetuity.
I think what Tassium is tryin' to say here, girl, is:
You rock!
Thank you! I'm glad I could help.
Professor Bananington XD #respecttheskin
@harktheshark
Absolutely, fine sir. #respecttheskin needs to be a world-wide movement!
I upvoted, resteemed and am now commenting on this post. How can anyone think that banana peels are garbage?! I totally agree with you, Tassium, that a banana peel is valuable and a part of nature's process. Without it, bananas will not grow to their full potential. I am now jumping on the bandwagon. I will use this tag #respecttheskin!
You have shown truly remarkable commitment to the advancement of Banana Rights. Should you choose to run for public office, this blog and the Banana Collective will be your biggest supporters!
I slipped on a banana peel once. It squealed out of revenge for my stepping on it. I can make over one hundred excuses sincerely from my foot, but I was busy looking at an apple tree. I'm sorry.
Well, @quiplet -- I assure you that the blame rests entirely in your action of looking at an apple tree. Those trees, and the fruit they bear, are nonsensically popular with humans. That fruit needs to be totally eradicated from your diet. For more information on this important subject,
please see my
treatiserant on the inappropriateness of apples.I read your rant - and you seem to be very bananafied. Please understand- I love Bananas! You may have changed my mind about apples too.
You seem to be a very intelligent reader, @quiplet, to consider taking action on my advice.
Anyone who listens to me is way ahead of the crowd. Here's a snack to keep you going:
Great job
@bananamemos Thank you for not using bidbots on this post and also using the #nobidbot tag!