Big mistake , bigger solution

My family was all together in our living room, and my dad was crying. My dad never cries. Choked up, he said to us all (mostly me), “Something needs to change, we can’t keep doing this”.

I was nearly 17 at the time. About a year and a half prior to this conversation, I got my delicate, 15 year old heart broken. I liked her for a long time, even told myself I loved her even though I had no clue what it meant. When I got my chance with her, she didn’t feel the same, and things died off quickly after that. I was devastated. I’m sure many of you remember your first love. This was mine, and losing my chance hit me a lot harder than I thought it would.

After things ended between her and me, I fell pretty hard into a depression. My friends knew it, my family knew it, everyone did. These people closest to me tried to console me, but to no avail. “No one has ever been hurt like me,” I thought to myself. No one could understand.

Over the course of the next year and a half, I pushed people away. People wanted to help, but I wouldn’t have any of it. This caused some serious tension. I fought more with my family and always brought the mood down. My attitude and actions were affecting my entire family, and it was causing a strain on everyone.

Then came the conversation I mentioned in the beginning. I had been so caught up in myself that I didn’t realize how I was affecting the people I love. Even if I did notice, I didn’t care because I thought I deserved to feel this way. I told myself that I’d been hurt, and they couldn’t understand.

I was wrong on so many levels.

I’d seen my dad cry maybe once in my life, so when his voice got shaky, I knew this was serious. The people I loved said I wasn’t myself anymore. My dad said he wanted his son back. This man gave me ever opportunity I’ve had in my life. He has loved and supported me even when we’d butt heads. He would give his life for me in a heartbeat, and everything he does, he does for his family. And I broke him.

The mistake I regret the most is pushing away the people that loved me when I needed them most. It took my dad pleading for his son back to realize this, and I will never forget it.hi

What I managed to learn is that your parents are right about a lot of things, it just takes time to realize it. Time does heal, things do get better, and you will love again. I learned that people understand. And I learned to let people help me. I also learned I never want to bring my family, especially my dad, to that point again. He’s given everything for my brother and me, and for that I will always be grateful. I’m sorry I put you through that dad. I love you.