Tired

in #blog5 years ago


During the course of the last few months, I have diligently tried to write anything that comes to mind. It has been unsuccessful.

I then decided to wake up this morning, pull my mac closer and start writing from a personal point of view.

My last few posts have mostly been from an open point of view, trying to keep privacy to a maximum. Then I realized that there must be at least one other person on this platform that feels the same way I do.

I have been married for 2 months. (WOW!) No, not wow. Real. Some things have not changed, things I had hoped would, but didn’t.

Family intervening at the most impossible of times.
Irritation getting the better of both of us.
The only difference between now and the past 7 years? We can’t just leave. We’re stuck with each other.

I have become less and less motivated to do anything around the house. I will not move toolboxes. They aren’t mine to move and they are heavy, why not move them when I ask you to? “because I prefer to play games now, I am tired, I’ll do it later…” SO I end up doing it 3 weeks later.

Even complaining about it would cause a fight so I just don’t complain, I just stay positive and do that which needs to be done and get it over with.

I’ve learned not to complain because a fight isn’t worth it. I am the one at fault.
Friends that had tied the knot before are still having fights and before I had finally reached my limit, we came to the conclusion that we are passed all of those unnecessary fights.

I am…

I think what makes this all worse is the fact that I am tutoring a boy whom is so entitled that he actually corrects my grammar instead of thanking me for actually writing his speech.

A privileged snarky little boy who thinks I have to help him just because his mother is paying me to. Children these days are so entitled. I enjoyed educating his brother last year. He passed his final year, and all is well. The way in which he speaks to me now, however has changed.

Yes, I am complaining because I feel useless. I feel negative and I just can’t seem to get out of this hole.

I don’t think my husband is actually such a bother. I love him dearly, it’s just that after coming home from a disrespectful child only to be the only one actually working has made me realize that I am just one person!

I am tired.

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