A Serious Winter Diagnosis

It's called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder associated with college applications!! It afflicts many parents of high school seniors and its rate of occurence is escalating. Now, I do not make light of this disorder - in fact, as a Physician Assistant I worked on the Psychiatry Ward of the Brooklyn VA Hospital years ago, helping to treat patients with PTSD. But frankly, I call out to all the moms and dads out there, toiling to help their high school seniors finish their college applications by year's end deadline. A new diagnostic health code, "Parental PTSD from extensive and ongoing college applications" would be a truly worthy addition to the DSM IV (classification for psychiatric diseases)!!

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So I admit I am extremely type A and thankfully, so is my son ( I cannot imagine doing this application process with a laid back kid). Apparently, though, I am more type A than he is - because all I do is obsess. Over essays that need to be written and fees that need to be paid and common applications and individual applications and grades that need to be kept up and reference letters that need to go out and on and on. He has actually been pretty cool through this whole thing, juggling 4 AP classes, his after school responsibilities as captain of the running team ,while managing his personal application filing system and his nightly allotment of time to "college work." Sometimes he takes too long by my estimation - that's right, my estimation - to complete a college task online. Now supposedly, if you write 2 essays for the common application, you just need to "modify them" to fit the other schools. THAT'S NOT QUITE WORKING FOR US!!! He seems to need more essays and revisions and lots and lots of mini-essays and short answers and this journey has been going on for months (or is it years).

We've also heard this is not a good year to be an applicant since some prominent schools dropped their early decision option, meaning alot of kids who would have normally pledged to a specific school, are now clouding our chances at getting the school(s) we want because they are now applying to those as well. And remember, we're still getting used to a new SAT exam. Just how much more can we take (I mean "he take??) And true reality hit this past weekend when many disappointing deferred or rejected responses were received by some pretty highly academic/well rounded achievers in the early action/early decision round- WHO ARE THESE SCHOOLS TAKING, ANYWAY??

So now it's time to take my own advice that I dispense routinely to ivillage readers. I need to calm down and meditate, exercise away negativity, seek support from other TORTURED PARENTS (is there an ivillage support group for tortured parents of high school seniors applying to college - I don't think so!!) and not nibble on carbs to soothe my stress. I also need to only help when asked (now theres a tough one) and let my high school senior deal with this whole thing (not quite my nature - but I am trying).

In the end he too received a "deferred" from his early action choice and my son is busy now getting extra recommendation letters and preparing an impressive abstract from a science research project he recently completed in order to compete with the general pool of applicants for that college. Yup, he's taking it all in stride while I begin to bite my nails (a habit I conquered years ago) as we wrap up final applications and begin the wait till late March/early April for the final decisions ( we need a reality show on this one ASAP).

So here's a personal shout out to all those parents currently on the journey with their kids to.....college - HANG IN THERE!!