So If You Get the "Big C" Diagnosis You Want....

A doctor who gives it to you with a dose of realism and empathy. Sure, I'm the type of person who likes to get real but if I am being told that I have a condition that could irreparably harm me or shorten my days on earth - I would expect my doctor to give it to me with a huge dose of warmth and concern. Apparently that is not what is routinely going on in the world of cancer medicine. In fact, a new study reveals that "Most cancer specialists do not respond to the emotional concerns of their patients with verbal expressions of empathy and support."

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Since your gut reaction may be a hugely negative response to the diagnosis, what we would want as patients are expressions of reassurance, hope, the idea that multiple options may be available, survival statistics - anything to counteract that feeling of shock and hopelessness that I think most people would intially experience. During one study, less than 300 empathic doctor responses occured during a possible 400 discussion opportunities. In many of these cases, doctors were telling patients that they had less than a year to live and in many cases, these specialists did know these patients - these were not "first time encounters."

I think medical schools need to start emphasizing emotional training during those 4 years of medical school training and beyond. I think internship and residency programs need to help doctors to find ways to express emotional support while still offering truth. I think that one of the most crucial personality traits I would want in my regular physician and any specialist (that he might refer me to) is a warm and compassionate nature. Sure, we all want the hotshot surgeon who is the "arrogant best" when it comes to slicing and dicing out our tumor - BUT - I have to believe that that same hotshot could possibly develop a better bedside manner if he himself were exposed to a little trauma or maybe a trial hospital stay.

As part of my Physician Assistant training years ago, I was poked and prodded, pricked and examined by my fellow students. We each put naso-gastric tubes down each others noses (for practice and to give us a sense of how it felt) and I must confess, those experiences made me a more humble, empathic and gentle practitioner. I do think that along with dispensing the best and most cutting edge therapies, your doctor simply needs to be in touch with your feelings and be able to express emotional content when he dispenses his diagnostic message.

Have a doctor story you'd like to share??